Shy guy trying to make a move on a girl.

[AU_NSX]

Yippie! :biggrin: She finally answered. She didn't answered because didn't feel well last night. She said she's free for the world which could mean there's a room for me.

I'm dumb about this relationship thing. Any suggestions on what to do next? :biggrin: Happy, happy, happy.

Well done mate!

I won't pretend I know anything about relationships except to say that the people who really know me would be rolling on the floor laughing at the thought of me giving advice on relationships!

Be yourself and follow your instincts...

Good luck mate! :wink:

 

[DocL]

A great first date is Salsa dancing. :biggrin: :wink:

 

[zahntech]

Ah, yeah.... shure...

Some of us are smart enough to stay away from girls like this one

 

[Tantheman]

You should PM Up2You, he is fully utilizing his Imola Orange NSX-T to its advantage. Big time player and shows it off too.

Tan:biggrin:

 

[NsXMas]

Have you seen "40 Year Old Virgin" yet?

I agree also - do not date anyone from work.

 

[CKS Papa]

There are always exceptions to a rule.
Met my wife at work. Been together for 17 years, married for 12 and now have 3 kids. You never know where you will meet the right one!
Best advise is from Neo; just have a good time on the date.
Good luck and have fun!

 

[clr1024]

Some of us are smart enough to stay away from girls like this one

what girls that are bland looking, yet think they are gods gift to man:biggrin:

 

[clr1024]

AS for the dating at work I think that depends on how big your company is. I have done it, but unless I went out of my way to see this girl I would never run into her. The question you need to ask yourself is, if it doesn't work out, how will it affect my life at work. Will you see her all the time or can you avod her? What if she ends up dating someone else from work and its in your face will it bother you at work?

 

[Jin1976]

I'll do that. I just sent her another text this morning. She has not answered yet. Maybe she's busy.

Hey, congrats Jin! You are da man!

You'll get plenty of suggestions on what to do next, so mine is: just play it simple and cool. Forget every noton of this becoming a "relationship" and just go out and enjoy yourself. Get to know her by talking and LISTENING. Be yourself but make sure it's your cool and confident self - dont be anxious if you say/do something wrong. Don't psycho-analyse everything she says. To repeat myself: just go and enjoy yourselves. At the end of the day, it's not you've said/done/been but how you leave her feeling. If she has a good time, she'll want to see you again.

Most importantly of all: keep us updated ... :biggrin:

 

[MiamiMermaid]

Don't do the dinner and a movie thing - movies can be an awkward first date, and leave no time for that single important thing Neo mentioned - listening. It's all you have to do.

Lots of great advice on here...... definitely like the salsa dancing idea, that is if you know how to salsa, or are willing to have a great and silly time learning!

Jin, I've read many of your posts and you seem to be a genuinely nice and cool person, so no worries..... just be yourself.....

That way you know if it doesn't work out, her loss..... and if it does, you'll know she likes you for you......

"Real" is the only way to go and as I said before, based on your character, you have nothing to fear..... just have fun!!

... oh yea, and keep us updated

*~Mermi~*

 

[Osiris_x11]

power moves...

Some of us are smart enough to stay away from girls like this one

Admirers of GM's Chevrolet C6 Corvette?!?

(lol... /jk)


On topic...

Signs of being free & beyond reproach w/ another - is true & unconditional acceptance.

I feel an action w/ conviction is acceptable to the heart, regardless of the outcome. Be yourself!

A lesson I recently learned was to let go of things for which you can not control...

Remember bro',

"as so it is already written to be. . ."

 

[Jin1976]

Okay I'm not giving up. She didn't reply today must be that she's busy. I'll try a different approach. I'll try to chat with her on the internet (got her e-mail from a friend) and also send her an e-mail just to know if I'm too forward. I want to learn and understand her and tune to what she likes.

The advises you guys give I will try and see what happen. This will be my update for today. I am not going to give up until she say no. :smile:

 

[NemesisX]

Okay I'm not giving up. She didn't reply today must be that she's busy. I'll try a different approach. I'll try to chat with her on the internet (got her e-mail from a friend) and also send her an e-mail just to know if I'm too forward. I want to learn and understand her and tune to what she likes.

The advises you guys give I will try and see what happen. This will be my update for today. I am not going to give up until she say no. :smile:

Jin,
Good to know your not giving up!! My advise, (and take it for what its worth) is you might want to try is asking her in person, instead of doing the phone, fax and email thing. I know your shy but the only way your going to learn to read women (or at least be less confused) is to do it and watch her.
So much can be learned from body language, voice tone and eye contact, along with what comes out of her mouth.
This way there is also no wondering if she got the message, read email, recieved the fax or whatever!!
You seem to want this woman enough to be persistent. But make sure your actions are translated that way. Be persistent but not pestering. If you want her, show her by asking her face to face, not an email. Women like confident men, show her! Remember, WOMEN WANT ROMANCE!! An email or text doesnt shout romance.

Or you can just tell me to go F*$& off!! LOL:biggrin:

Either way, good luck!! Im pullin for you!!

 

[Dr Phil]

Howdie Y'all.

I may get flamed for giving you bad advice but forget all these "texts", "emails" and "chat room" games. If you want to speak to her, do so in person or on the phone. Texting is impersonal and detacted which is bad.

You may feel awkward as hell calling her and even scared as a coyote in huntin' season, but all you need is one funny comment. If you can't be confident enough calling her, forget being confident *with* her.

Don't expect her to say "no" in clear words if you wait for her to give an answer. Women don't speak in black & white like us guys. Things like excuses, delays, busyness, can all be "hints" that she means no (but not always... ). You need to be the judge of this.

And if she seems cool on the idea, be the gentleman and dismiss the idea rather than leaving it hanging between you. Who knows, in a couple of months she may change her mind: that's women for you. :wink:

 

[Dr Phil]

Looks like Nemesis beat me to the post. But his advice is right as rain. Call her.

If this doesn't work out you can always come on my show. :biggrin:

 

[Hal_396]

When it comes to dating a girl at work, its:

"What she says vs. it doesn't matter what you say"

 

[Ryanmcd2]

Call her, no more text / e-mails unless she is 14 on AOL, get over the A/S/L crap. Or you could send her a note with a yes and a no box and have her check one

 

[PoohBEAR]

Jin....don't believe what this clown is telling you. I know for a fact he knows nothing of romance. He pretends to go down and under for love, and he got nothing but kangaroo doo doo You want romance? I strongly suggest you go back to the days of Romeo & Juliet. Get yourself a homing pigeon, write her a cool poem and send it to her. If you dont' know how to write poetry, copy and paste off of the internet. Now we're talking about romance.... :tongue:

Jin,
Good to know your not giving up!! My advise, (and take it for what its worth) is you might want to try is asking her in person, instead of doing the phone, fax and email thing. I know your shy but the only way your going to learn to read women (or at least be less confused) is to do it and watch her.
So much can be learned from body language, voice tone and eye contact, along with what comes out of her mouth.
This way there is also no wondering if she got the message, read email, recieved the fax or whatever!!
You seem to want this woman enough to be persistent. But make sure your actions are translated that way. Be persistent but not pestering. If you want her, show her by asking her face to face, not an email. Women like confident men, show her! Remember, WOMEN WANT ROMANCE!! An email or text doesnt shout romance.

Or you can just tell me to go F*$& off!! LOL:biggrin:

Either way, good luck!! Im pullin for you!!

 

[collegeboy]

Personally (I'm only 20 though), I always talk to someone in person. Luckily I was blessed with having 4 older sisters so I am very good with talking and understanding the opposite sex. Basically, remember to stay very layed back and while being a very nice and a good listening guy don't give them the impression that she can have you when ever she wants or that you are TOTALLy wanting her. Girls like a challenge as guys do. First become her good friend then after that start goin gout and seeing each other. The main thig for a girl is finding someone they can TALK TO and trust..many guys out there are not like this, so if you are one of the few ones..things will be good for you =) It isn't hard at all and I wish you the best of luck my friend.

 

[NemesisX]

Jin....don't believe what this clown is telling you. I know for a fact he knows nothing of romance. He pretends to go down and under for love, and he got nothing but kangaroo doo doo You want romance? I strongly suggest you go back to the days of Romeo & Juliet. Get yourself a homing pigeon, write her a cool poem and send it to her. If you dont' know how to write poetry, copy and paste off of the internet. Now we're talking about romance.... :tongue:

OH POObutt!! I mean Poohrat, shoot poohcat!, No crapbear...whateva!!
Those Kangaroos LUV me!!!!!:biggrin:

 

[TURBO2GO]

"Free for the world"? what kind of answer is that?! If you are interested in someone, it doesn't take much to communicate back even if you "didn't feel well". Its about 10 seconds to send a text.

I don't think it matters a lot if you text or talk or whatever, so long as she feels you are fully confident and sincere.

If she doesn't know you, she has to make a quick decision based on what she does know about you. Is that a quick glance and a text? Put yourself in her shoes... try to understand how she would feel and work with that. If she is aprehensive, make her feel safe. If she is shy, make her feel comfortable. If she is hot and popular, make sure she knows you aren't going to be someone to play around with.

I would be firm and make it clear that I have an interest. But also have value for that interest. If you know you are a good guy and genuine, that interest has value. So don't sell it short. Don't cheapen it. Be clear about it, and if its not received well, then don't let it hang out there for no reason. Pull it back because there are plenty of women that would appreciate it.

I don't mean be a jerk or anything, be nice and polite because thats who you are. Always. But don't pine... don't keep things hanging out there like a little puppy. Let her know that her lack of enthusiasm isn't going to wash with you. You don't need someone that is all willy nilly.

In all my experience I can tell you this. Be firm and to the point. If its not received well or there is hesitation, you be the first to say "thats OK, thank you". That makes a woman question her rather impulsive decision. "what did I just do?"... "did I lose out?".... let her mull that over a bit.

Let her see how great a guy you are in general, always curtious, always polite, always kind to others (even to cats that scratch your car ). Let her question whether she made the right decision or not.

I know this not giving up thing is great enthusiasm, but you aren't riding a bull in a rodeo. Its pretty straightforward. She should take it or leave it, its a limited time offer. You snooze you lose. Any decent girl should at least give you a chance. If she is not willing to do that, then move on. She is not the right one for you.

 

[TURBO2GO]

I'm very picky. :smile:

Jin, brother I am giving you this advice from my heart, not to tell you what to do. If you really are shy, put this picky business aside for a while. You shouldn't be picky when you are shy. Be picky when you comfortably establish a relationship with whoever you want to. Being shy is not always good. If you don't get over that then the "right" woman will come along and pass you by.

All the other ones you aren't that interested in aren't there for no reason. They are there so you can learn to be comfortable knowing them and talking to them. For "practice" for the lack of a better word. But I mean practice in the the most respectful way. They will teach you a lot. Listen and learn. That way when that very one you were so picky about comes along, you won't have this shyness hindrance in your way.

 

[steveny]

I would talk to her face to face. It is impossible to read her "tells" unless you are sitting at the poker table with her!

 

[01a4man]

I would talk to her face to face. It is impossible to read her "tells" unless you are sitting at the poker table with her!

2nd that. You have to get up enough curage to talk to her. Ask her to lunch or something like that. The text messaging and email thing might come off as weird. But, that's just me though. Good luck man!!

 

[redshift]

Just be yourself buddy. Trying to apply too much advice will probably make you overly anxious and detached. The only magic involved with meeting a compatible woman is honesty. Being too picky will likely weed-out potential life partners; nobody is 100% compatible in the beginning, they grow together [or apart] over time.