Shy guy trying to make a move on a girl.

[TURBO2GO]

Just be yourself buddy. Trying to apply too much advice will probably make you overly anxious and detached. The only magic involved with meeting a compatible woman is honesty. Being too picky will likely weed-out potential life partners; nobody is 100% compatible in the beginning, they grow together [or apart] over time.

Very true.

 

[BioBanker]

Jin, in your first post you said you lost someone years ago when she went and married someone else.

You did not lose her. This is not a race. There is no winning, no losing. The only way you lose here is if you marry the wrong person. Everything you do in the meantime is win win. Someone who would marry someone else is not the prize you're looking for, is she?

Just go have some fun and find the girl your meant to be with, however long it takes. If by the end of it all, you've done that, you've done well.

 

[Joel]

No joke... Watch the movie "Don Juan" starring Johnny Depp. That'll get you in the mood. :smile:

 

[Joel]

"Free for the world"? what kind of answer is that?! If you are interested in someone, it doesn't take much to communicate back even if you "didn't feel well". Its about 10 seconds to send a text.

I don't think it matters a lot if you text or talk or whatever, so long as she feels you are fully confident and sincere.

If she doesn't know you, she has to make a quick decision based on what she does know about you. Is that a quick glance and a text? Put yourself in her shoes... try to understand how she would feel and work with that. If she is aprehensive, make her feel safe. If she is shy, make her feel comfortable. If she is hot and popular, make sure she knows you aren't going to be someone to play around with.

I would be firm and make it clear that I have an interest. But also have value for that interest. If you know you are a good guy and genuine, that interest has value. So don't sell it short. Don't cheapen it. Be clear about it, and if its not received well, then don't let it hang out there for no reason. Pull it back because there are plenty of women that would appreciate it.

I don't mean be a jerk or anything, be nice and polite because thats who you are. Always. But don't pine... don't keep things hanging out there like a little puppy. Let her know that her lack of enthusiasm isn't going to wash with you. You don't need someone that is all willy nilly.

In all my experience I can tell you this. Be firm and to the point. If its not received well or there is hesitation, you be the first to say "thats OK, thank you". That makes a woman question her rather impulsive decision. "what did I just do?"... "did I lose out?".... let her mull that over a bit.

Let her see how great a guy you are in general, always curtious, always polite, always kind to others (even to cats that scratch your car ). Let her question whether she made the right decision or not.

I know this not giving up thing is great enthusiasm, but you aren't riding a bull in a rodeo. Its pretty straightforward. She should take it or leave it, its a limited time offer. You snooze you lose. Any decent girl should at least give you a chance. If she is not willing to do that, then move on. She is not the right one for you.

Spoken like a seasoned veteran.

all willy nilly.

This was the best part. :tongue:
wishy washy

 

[Jin1976]

Thanks again to all especially TURBO2GO. I'll give until the end of next week and if she still don't reply than I'll quit wasting my time. :smile: Btw the cat pee on my car last night. Damn cat.

 

[FastraxTurbo]

Its OK, dont sweat it. Look at Mikey, he hasnt had a girlfriend or date in years, or is it because hes gay..........

 

[NeoNSX]

OH POObutt!! I mean Poohrat, shoot poohcat!, No crapbear...whateva!!
Those Kangaroos LUV me!!!!!:biggrin:

 

[SilverStone05]

Ah, yeah.... shure...

Ha, I took that picture.

You so stole that from my myspace page. :wink:

On topic, though...ask her out in person. Seriously, texting can be shady business a lot of the time. And if she says no, no big deal...just move on. The girl i'm currently seeing caught my eye at the gym and I just introduced myself...turned out we went to the same University...had a lot in common...an hour later we were at dinner. Oh, and she loves the NSX as much as I do. :tongue:

 

[TURBO2GO]

Thanks again to all especially TURBO2GO. I'll give until the end of next week and if she still don't reply than I'll quit wasting my time. :smile: Btw the cat pee on my car last night. Damn cat.

End of NEXT week? Jin you are a very generous person... I'd give it ten minutes myself... lol...

Anyway brother, if it doesn't work out, its OK. All the women you meet in your life are there to prepare you for the one that you ultimately wind up with. All the ones that break your heart, all the ones that date you, all the ones that reject you, they all do it so that you are eventualy molded into the person that the very last girl loves to be with. If they didn't do all that molding, then you would never be that person the last girl loves. Its hard to see that sometimes, but it becomes clear as day later.

I can guarantee you that if this one doesn't work out, your tactic will be a bit different next time. And that's the whole process. In a way, she is doing you a favor EITHER way... so no reason to be upset at all. I love those women that rejected me in the past. Thank God for them. I owe them all my success.

 

[zezeq]

Hello Jin,
I'm from your country too. I don't own an NSX but I did a "Yahoo search:Brunei Honda" this link came. I registered to say Hello to you Nice ride and I've seen it along the tungku link Highway sometimes.
My ride is a bimmer

 

[FrEsHaZzBuRu]

First become her good friend then after that start goin gout and seeing each other.

That is the only part of your post I disagree with. The reason being that half the time, it will back fire - if you become a good friend, sometimes they won't want to be anything more to not risk losing the friendship.

Best advice on this thread is to be yourself and to only use vocal methods. Texting, e-mailing, and chatting are all bad ideas because you're actual feelings won't be able to show through. The first phone call will always be the hardest, but after 30 seconds, you'll feel like you can talk forever.

Basic phone conversation you can start with is something like this:

Call and let her know who you are
ask her how she's doing or how her day went (this should lead to more content to talk about, if you can crack a joke somewhere it'll be a big plus, don't try to hard to make one though - let it be natural and on topic)

Then talk about a topic relating to where you want to take her out to then ask her about her interest regarding that something you want to take her out to....

For asking her to a movie:
ask her what the last movie she saw was
talk about a movie that seems interesting to you and see what she thinks about it
if she seems like she wants to watch it, then ask her if she wants to go see it.

For asking her to dinner:
Ask if she likes sushi (doesn't have to be sushi) and what she thinks the best sushi restaurant she's ever been to was
ask her if she's ever been to one you like to go to
if not, ask her for dinner, if she's been, ask her for dinner!!

For anything else:
Ask if she's interested in so and so
ask her out!!!!

Basically, you want to know what she's willing to do before you ask her to it; that way you'll know for sure where to take her. When asking if she wants to go out then trying to find out where, it can put things in a negative vibe because you'll look like you can't plan things too well.

But again, just be YOURSELF! Make conversation by asking questions and relating to them, although without drowning her with them.

 

[Edwardo]

All right, it's been four days now. I can't take this anymore Jin. We need to get to the bottom of this RIGHT NOW!

My opinion is that you may be suffering from a bit of low self confidence in the ladies department. You can check this by asking yourself:

"Self, do I have a hard time meeting and talking to dudes, or is it just pretty girls?"

If you are just shy, then it may be a good idea to read Turbo's eloquent lovey-dovey posts and try to "understand" the mindset of a woman. Good luck with this *snickers*.

Or, you could engadge in some temporary, albeit unconventional self confidence-boosting techniques.

1. Buy yourself a cucumber and a pair of penis pants.
2. Equip said items from number one
3. Go to your bathroom at work, and recite these words while looking at yourself in the mirror.

"Jin, you look good. No, no no, you look DAMN GOOD!"

4. Step back a bit. and do a couple of bodybuilder poses in front of the mirror.
5. Check hair
6. Apply minty scented breath spray
7. Exit the bathroom and begin your...
8. STRUT, not walk towards her desk. (If you do not know what "strutting" is, watch a few clips of John Travolta or U.S. President Bush walk around)
9. Midway to her desk, ensure that your vegetable is pointing down and angled to the left (this is a rather important step for obvious reasons - see the movie Anchorman to gain insight as to why it is important)
10. Approach woman, and engadge in friendly banter. Ensure that you have that- I don't give a shit attititude coming through loud and clear). Make a deliberaly stupid joke and sort of half-laugh, half-laugh a little more until she is staring at you as if you are really weird. And then your crazed half laugh expression must turn in to...
11. An expression of complete and total seriousness, and you say all smooth- like - drawing your words out - holding her in suspense...
12. "Sooo, where are we going tonight?"

Well, that's it Jin. Hopefully, my TACTICAL advice will help you a bit more than the fluff I am reading in this thread.

*Disclaimer* I am only joking and I wish you all the best Jin. Realistically, I think you just have to ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen?

 

[FrEsHaZzBuRu]

LMAO!!!! that was a hilarious post!! :biggrin:

Note to self: go rent and watch anchorman and 40 year old virgin for a laughable weekend!!

 

[TURBO2GO]

LMAO!!!! that was a hilarious post!! :biggrin:

Note to self: go rent and watch anchorman and 40 year old virgin for a laughable weekend!!

No kidding, after edwardo's post I have to see anchorman too now... and the Johnny Dep Don Juan movie... I can't believe I have missed these.

Jin if you accomplish nothing else, you did provide everyone some good entertainment here for a few days... that's worth something on its own! :wink:

 

[Jin1976]

Hello zezeq. Are you a boy or a girl? We should meet up sometimes. :smile:

Hello Jin,
I'm from your country too. I don't own an NSX but I did a "Yahoo search:Brunei Honda" this link came. I registered to say Hello to you Nice ride and I've seen it along the tungku link Highway sometimes.
My ride is a bimmer

 

[zezeq]

Hello zezeq. Are you a boy or a girl? We should meet up sometimes. :smile:

LOL I'm a guy Sorry.Yeah we should meet sometimes but I'm in UK.Maybe next June we should photoshoot our cars next Summer :biggrin:
Here's my car BTW :
http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=560266&highlight=zeaq

 

[Joel]

Hello zezeq. Are you a boy or a girl? We should meet up sometimes. :smile:

There you go with your texts again. Have we not learned anything from this thread? :biggrin:

 

[Jin1976]

Very nice car. Mine was also bought by the same person who brought your car. :biggrin: What year of study are you in UK and what course are you studying?

LOL I'm a guy Sorry.Yeah we should meet sometimes but I'm in UK.Maybe next June we should photoshoot our cars next Summer :biggrin:
Here's my car BTW :
http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=560266&highlight=zeaq

 

[gheba_nsx]

Very nice car. Mine was also bought by the same person who brought your car. :biggrin: What year of study are you in UK and what course are you studying?

Jin, maybe you missed the part about him being a man!!! :biggrin: Stop flirting and concentrate on the girl...

 

[Jin1976]

Yipee. Got very good respond this afternoon. We chat thru MSN messenger but I had to stop because I had class to teach. Hopefully I can do this tomorrow. :biggrin:

 

[Jin1976]

I know that. I like to make as many friends as possible better if that friend like to talk about cars. :biggrin:

Jin, maybe you missed the part about him being a man!!! :biggrin: Stop flirting and concentrate on the girl...

 

[Jin1976]

Straight forward. That's me. :redface:

There you go with your texts again. Have we not learned anything from this thread? :biggrin:

 

[gheba_nsx]

Yipee. Got very good respond this afternoon. We chat thru MSN messenger but I had to stop because I had class to teach. Hopefully I can do this tomorrow. :biggrin:

Very good! At least as a start! :biggrin:

So what is the outcome, is she available for going out one of the next days?

 

[Jin1976]

I haven't ask her out yet. Too soon. Don't want to scare her away. :biggrin: I wish I could be like Mel Gibson in the What Women Want movie.

Very good! At least as a start! :biggrin:

So what is the outcome, is she available for going out one of the next days?

 

[gheba_nsx]

I haven't ask her out yet. Too soon. Don't want to scare her away. :biggrin: I wish I could be like Mel Gibson in the What Women Want movie.

Come on! :tongue:
She is probably waiting anyway that you do... or do you believe she thinks you are contacting/messaging her just because "it is fun"... :wink:

Do it and you will feel a lot better! :smile: