Please Help Me!!

[Kenny York]

hhmmmm

well we had another talk tonight. I fly up on Thursday to see her. I told her today that I miss her and in reply she said " I miss you to but I see you in a few days". I just thought that sounded weird. I also told her that we have to meet each other half way on what our needs our. She said she notices how important the NSX is to me and she said to keep it. After all it is paid for I told her. I told her that I support her in what she wants to do to her house. I have been working on it myself ( painting ceilings, trim etc) So I am doing my share. I have my debt down from 20k to 15k by next month I told her and she just said "good". I asked her if she was happy and she said " do you want me to jump up and down?" I said that would be nice My stomach just feels weird. maybe it is becasue I worked out for 5 hours today? Or maybe it is emotional? I think it is the emotional. Well that is my current update : keeping the NSX!!!

 

[ss5153]

I think it's emotional......

I think it's emotional...... Hope everything goes well! I would of made the same decision! KEEP THE NSX! Everyone is different. If I really like the woman, and I ask myself, is she worth it? If it's yes, I would do whatever it takes to make her happy. If she wants me to sell the NSX, I will, only if she promise to let me buy a HSC in the future.

This song I heard on the radio....Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money...

 

[ajnsx]

Convoluted, I know - but the signs are there that this chick is interested in things that shouldn't matter right now. This isn't going to get easier if you buy a ring, I hope you realize that.

I'm going with this. The more i read the more she sounds like the devil. All im seeing is demands(slightly sugar coated), she'll never be happy if its not going her way, it seems.

 

[steveny]

This is starting to sound like a bad situation. This could end up very bad for you if things don't work out and you become the "enemy". Sounds to me like the kind of person that will rake you over the coals for alimony or child support, money and power hungry personality.

 

[Aiken Drum]

Re: hhmmmm

Kenny--

Dude, I don't know this for sure, but I'm sure getting "I'm gonna break up with you when you come see me" vibes from what you say she said. Go prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.

And I'll say it again, if this thing is a dealbreaker for her, she's broken and you didn't want her anyway, unless you're broken too, in which case, sorry...

-------------------------------------------

steveny--

Yeah, you've gotta keep an eye on those shoes. Luckily, my wife is pretty good about it, but my stepdaughter is a shoealohic, and I figured something important out: Keep an eye on the Goodwill pile. They'll put perfectly good shoes they've become bored with on the pile at regular intervals and then go buy new ones. It's nice for the Goodwill folks, but it's a silent hemmorhage from your bank account that you don't notice because the actual collection seems small.

 

[Joel]

[size=+2]RED flag, RED flag, RED flag[/size]

Kenny, they are EVERYWHERE!!!
Practically every sentence I read, a red flag was raised.

You sound so happy, but I think it's a facade. Things aren't alright my friend. Obviously this girl has issues about financial security. In her eyes, you are resisting to be molded because she can't put you in her little box. That's upsetting her.

Put your emotions aside and THINK. Use your head. Sometimes feelings just cloud things.

**We really need to have a girl's input here. Where are the female members?**

I later met the girl of my dreams. She was a serious as my old girlfriend, but [size=+2]just as interested in my happiness as her own.[/size] That my friend was the missing link in my other relationship.

That IS it, right there. Point blank, period, end of discussion. Jay's girl has the healthy outlook on relationships because she realizes that deciding to be in a relationship is one of THE MOST UNSELFISH thing you can do. You don't go into a relationship to try and bend someone to your will. You go into it to encourage, support, grow. Sorry, Ken but I don't see that here but then again, I only go with what you're saying. You see things I don't.

Just my opinion.

 

[steveny]

Obviously this girl has issues about financial security.

....that may be so deep, she will never feel secure, no matter how much money she/you have.

 

[nkb]

I've kept out of it for this long, but I'm hearing too much negative feedback about Kenny's girlfriend, based on a very one-sided report. If you read between the lines, I can picture an alternate scenario.

First of all: Kenny, you say that you own the NSX free and clear, yet you have $20K in debt. To me, that is an oxymoron. At some point, you chose to use your money to buy the NSX, instead of paying off your debt to your parents. How is that any different than paying off your debt, then getting a new loan from them to buy the NSX? Six in one hand, half-dozen in the other.
Either way, directly or indirectly, you owe money because you own an NSX.

Now, I don't know you, or your parents, but how they allowed you to go out and buy an expensive car, while owing them $20K is beyond me. To me, it seems like they're letting you off easy (and that is their prerogative), but I don't think they are teaching you financial responsibility.

Your girlfriend seems to be fiscally responsible (maybe a little extreme), and is apparently not seeing enough of the same from you. We're hearing your side of the story, and you still come across as someone who is more worried about having fun than having your finances in order. I wonder what it would sound like if she got to share her point of view.

Guys, the majority of you are jumping on his woman, calling her evil, but picture yourself in the same situation, with the roles reversed (meaning you are the one who cares about sound finances, and you are in love with a girl that has debt, but also a lot of toys she may or may not be able to afford). Are you evil for wanting her to be more responsible?

I agree that a lot of marriages fail due to financial issues. I have a buddy, who is somewhat anal about money, who got married recently to a woman who is quite the opposite (fair amount of debt, doesn't understand the concept of saving up for something, always wants to buy expensive things, like furniture or a new car). They argue constantly, and I give their marriage a 50-50 chance because of this. Maybe Kenny's girlfriend is afraid of that type of scenario.

Also, I happen to know roughly what school teachers make in Texas (my wife is a teacher), since Kenny compared his salary to a teacher. I am surprised that he can afford to drive an NSX. I make a significant amount more than that, and I am still saving up for one.

Last, but not least, I don't want to come across as telling Kenny that his girlfriend is right, and he needs to sell the NSX (once I have one, it will be impossible to pry my hands off the steering wheel). But, there are definitely ways to show financial responsibility without selling your prized possession.

I have my debt down from 20k to 15k by next month I told her and she just said "good". I asked her if she was happy and she said " do you want me to jump up and down?" I said that would be nice

This reminds of a great quote from Chris Rock, that sort of applies, for people who want praise for something they should be doing anyway:

"I take care of my kids!
"You're supposed to, you dumb motherf#$ker!"

"I ain't never been to jail!"
"What do you want, a cookie?"

 

[steveny]

Guys, the majority of you are jumping on his woman, calling her evil, but picture yourself in the same situation, with the roles reversed (meaning you are the one who cares about sound finances, and you are in love with a girl that has debt, but also a lot of toys she may or may not be able to afford). Are you evil for wanting her to be more responsible?

This just happens to be my situation and I could not care less what my girlfriend makes and spends as long as she pays 50% of all the bills. Kenny's situation seems more about control than money from what I have read here.

Odd enough is the fact that myself and my entire family are savers and sticklers when it comes to money, but we all have chosen to be with people that are not the same way. Strange but true.

 

[ajnsx]

Guys, the majority of you are jumping on his woman, calling her evil, but picture yourself in the same situation, with the roles reversed (meaning you are the one who cares about sound finances, and you are in love with a girl that has debt, but also a lot of toys she may or may not be able to afford). Are you evil for wanting her to be more responsible?

Only commenting on the details that were given, but your view may hold true, but that (situation)hasnt come across from what he has been saying (one side of an argument, yes). Good point though.

At the end of the day it's what you deem important, i guess.
Still sounds evil the way its being expressed, even though financial security is important. Like everything else, its how its said and acted upon.

 

[Carguy!]

If you find an answer to this one please post! We are running out of room here to store all the damn shoes. Has your significant other bought a pair of shoes and brought them home only to find she already has the exact same pair?

I had an uncle who told me he was only two feet away from being a millionaire, her two feet! (Pointing at my aunt)


On another note:

I can't even imagine having to be subjected to justifying every expense I make. All I can say if you think it is bad now just wait until you get married. Most women that I have seen usually wait until after your married before they try and get this controlling.

Another way of looking at it: R U N ! ! !

Good Luck!

 

[nkb]

Still sounds evil the way its being expressed, even though financial security is important. Like everything else, its how its said and acted upon.

Exactly my point. It sounds evil based on what Kenny is telling us. We have no way of knowing how the subject was actually brought up and discussed.

 

[MF-DIF]

and next thing you know you're having a breakdown like Michael Douglas with a 12-gauge on the freeway!!

I enjoyed that comment thoroughly . That aside, let her know how important the NSX is to you. I don't even have an NSX yet, but my girl knows im going to get one not too far down the road and she hates the thing. She even talks to her mom about how much she hates the car and how stupid it is. But in the end she knows im going to get one and she is not going to leave me for it. She understands what it means for me so she excepts it. You need to do something so she knows that you are not just giving up some car.

 

[MF-DIF]

Odd enough is the fact that myself and my entire family are savers and sticklers when it comes to money, but we all have chosen to be with people that are not the same way. Strange but true.

I read somewhere that that is the way relationships should be when it comes to finances. Just imagine if you both spent loads of cash how fast you would be broke. My parents are the same way. And I find my relationship is true to that statement as well.