Please Help Me!!

[steveny]

You could always buy another NSX if it does not work out with her, after all you would be debt free then anyways. You won't be able to buy her back and might end up regretting it for a long time. At least this way you will know if it was a good or bad decision.
Woman or no woman I would chose to be debt free. This is why I have had problems in the past with females. They always seem to be the ones who want to blow money. After having many girlfriends that were spending money like no tomorrow I think I have finally found someone with some sense. Most of that sense came from her being young and not having bad habits yet. I was able to get her to read books like rich dad poor dad while she was still 19. Now she has just finished college and want to work while I set up a real estate empire for us to use as income ten years out. My last girlfriend owed 100k on credit cards.

 

[Aiken Drum]

Re: what most women think

if she just all of a sudden wanted to get a 3carat diamond ring, would I mind.

If that, plus the cost of her car, is comparable in price to an NSX and it's the only jewelry she's going to ask for, then the answer ought to be "No, I don't mind."

Otherwise we'd be hypocrites, no?

Answering thusly in the past made it very hassle-free for me when I decided to get an NSX.

 

[Dtrigg]

My wife knows nothing about cars. When we met, I was living in the UK and she thought the NSX I had at the time was a Ford Fiesta! (Her brother explained the difference a few months later)

After we were married and relocated to the US she saw a 355 and said I should get one. When I told her how much one would cost, she said she didn't care because she knew how much I enjoy cars and thought it would be great for me to have a car like that. When I was considering getting another NSX and found one for sale, but kept going back and forth on the purchase, she picked up the phone and was going to buy it until I grabbed the receiver.

Point being, our relationship has a lot to do with making eachother happy. We live under our means, but always go out of our way to ensure the other gets what they want or like. We like to make sure the other is happy; and that's not just a material thing.

She is also drop dead gorgeous. I am the luckiest guy in the world.

Think about it. Good luck.

 

[jaredNdallas]

debt stuff

hey whats up keep the nsx im in dallas i just bought mine a couple of days ago and i need to know where to meet people arround here, as far as your debts concerned my career is mortgage brokering/financial advisor keep the car sell the other stuff then instead of renting buy a new construction house live there for a few years then cash out on your equity to a lower mortgage rate and your home free/ look on the right side you will still have a house with some equity and all that interest is a write off/ or sell the nsx then buy a house cash out and its the same mortgage payment except with an nsx burried in haha
good luck
jared

 

[jlindy]

You could always buy another NSX if it does not work out with her, after all you would be debt free then anyways. You won't be able to buy her back and might end up regretting it for a long time. At least this way you will know if it was a good or bad decision.
Woman or no woman I would chose to be debt free. This is why I have had problems in the past with females. They always seem to be the ones who want to blow money. After having many girlfriends that were spending money like no tomorrow I think I have finally found someone with some sense. Most of that sense came from her being young and not having bad habits yet. I was able to get her to read books like rich dad poor dad while she was still 19. Now she has just finished college and want to work while I set up a real estate empire for us to use as income ten years out. My last girlfriend owed 100k on credit cards.

But he is not in debt because of his NSX which is paid for. It sounds like he is in debt from bikes and racing, so that is the first thing you need to cut back. If he sells his bikes like he said and pays what he has been, he will be debt free in a year. He can try to buy a NSX then, but then he will have new debt to pay off so what is the difference. This is not about debt in my opinion.

 

[BadCarma]

Keep the X! if you sell it for her you will harbour deep resentment that will manifest thoughout the relationship until you subconsiously want to choke the living SH$T out of her at the most Peculiar times.....ask me how I know what I did is trade her in for an upgrade model with better genetics...she canceled our first date to change out the timing chain on her vintage lemans (she did the work herself) I decided at once I would marry her.7 years later and going strong!

 

[DonDavis]

girl vs. NSX

Kenny, I agree with most of the guys... One of the laws of physics in relationship is that each person gets to act as they see fit, and the other gets to react. It sounds like you guys are serious and that she has some pretty strong thoughts on "starting with a clean financial slate." and it sounds like for her it's a condition of you guys being together.

YOU get to decide if you can live with that condition. Beware that giving something up now like that can cause resentment and bitterness later if you're not careful.

Me? I'd tell her "The car is mine and was here before you were, the debt is mine and I'll handle it, not you. Still want me?"

Of course, once you've been through a divorce, things like this get easier!! You could do like Rod Stewart said and instead of just marrying her and divorcing her later, give her a bunch of money now and stay single!

Don

 

[gheba_nsx]

If she does not understand how important the NSX is for you, sorry, even tough you love her, she may not be the right one.

This will come up again later in life, about other issues and thing you love and care and she doesn't...

 

[gheba_nsx]

And for a little fun...

 

[Zishan]

Well, the NSX won't cheat on you! j/k Seriously thou, which looks better? ok ok j/k again
I'm going to stay pretty much neutral on this one. I don't think a women should make a man do something he doesn't want to. But than again, I don't think the NSX is more important that someone special. I hope you can both come to a reasonable agreement.
- Z

 

[Sig]

Most likely she is concerned about the tendancy for women to give attention to men in nice cars or as others said, the car may be seen as competition for your attention.

If the debt is truly an issue and she is in it for the long haul. Surely, 10-20 months more in payments should not be a deal breaker. Perhaps there is more to the story, but it seems like an unreasonable mandate. If your racing debt was deep into the 6 figures, I could better understand the cause for concern. But 20K is not a big deal unless you are a minimum wage worker.

 

[nbovelle]

Recent Marriage and new NSX owner

I would try not to make the car the issue. I would look at my overall debt to income ratio and determine if it is acceptable. I agree that you will resent selling the car and that resentment may manifest itself in your relationship later. It sounds like you really love your car and have put a lot into it. You are still waiting on some new stuff now. I just got married in October of this year and got my first NSX in November. I also have four bikes and two other cars. While all are paid for, it is a pain paying all the insurance, so I will probably let all but one of the bikes go. I am also curbing my urge to do all of the mods on the NSX at once and trying to get my wife involved in my passion for the car.

If letting the bikes go will reduce your debt and that is ok for you, that is a good start. I would also stop buying any more upgrades for your NSX and just take care of routine maintenance. Take the money that you would normally use for those upgrades and pay down more of that 20K. You could even sell some of the upgrades and put the stock stuff back on. I think someone on Prime recently did that for similar reasons. That way you can compromise and keep your car. By the way, if you gamble or race for money, I would stop that also.

It is probably your current lifestyle that she fears most. You have a lot of debt from your hobbies and are continuing to accumulate more even now. Some people, especially those who have never had a real passion would look at that as frivolous spending. Women also usually want a man who they perceive as a provider and protector, even if they don’t need him in that way. Also, when two people join, neither usually wants to take on the other persons dept, so getting those types of thins in order first is a prudent thing to do.

I would explain to her that she is no. 1 and that while you were on your own that you did not have to consider anyone else. Now that you have her, you are willing to make some lifestyle changes. If she can accept your commitment to change your lifestyle while still keeping the car, than she is a keeper. Otherwise, I would let her go. You might start by canceling the order for the springs. (Actions speak louder than words.) She should understand your passion for cars, but also recognize that you can curb impulses, be responsible and make sound decisions.
BTW if she is making these kinds of demands on you now, it will only get worse after the wedding.

Good luck,

Nate in DC

 

[Kenny York]

all of these decisions are starting to get me stressed. I will have " the talk" with her this Sunday. So we shall see what happens.
Thanks guys for your support and opinions. I value them greatly!

 

[Joel]

all of these decisions are starting to get me stressed. I will have " the talk" with her this Sunday. So we shall see what happens.
Thanks guys for your support and opinions. I value them greatly!

Hey, with all these advice you've been given, you owe us an update pal! j/k. But do let us know how things work out.

Just wondering, is there a certified psychologist in the house?

 

[Kenny York]

I will give an update I just things will workout

 

[Kenny York]

meant to type... I hope things will work out

 

[RPM217]

Just my.02 worth

I'm married to the same woman for 25+ years, we lived together for 5 years before we got married. I've always been a "car" guy, it's who/what I am. My wife knows it, and while she's not a "car" woman (clothes, furniture, jewellry, antiques are more her thing) she knows that I enjoy a "nice" car. My C5 convertible lease was expiring last year, I had looked at a number of replacements (maserati spider, porsche, Z, etc) and with our daughter about to enter college (over 40m a year) I was contemplating buying a used integra from an associate in the office to bide my time, when she laid it on the line for me. "You enjoy cars, you don't do clothes, etc. you want to get the NSX, do it, I like seeing you in a nice car" I thought about these wise words, from a longtime spouse, friend, lover, etc. and realized that she was right. I got the NSX and she loves going for rides with the top off when weather permits (today it's about 17 degrees out, we will use a different car). You need to be happy with who you are, and who you're with. If that person can't get pleasure from seeing you happy (as long as you're being responsible, manage your debt wisely), than you will never be happy with that person. I've rambled on long enough. Life is short, we must reach for what makes us happy, act responsibly, be considerate of others, and ourself. Just my .02

 

[tochigidream]

What do you really want right now? I know your NSX is your dream. Your relationship with this girl could also be one of your dreams. There are always sacrifices to get what you want. You shouldn't have to sacrifice happiness for this girl, though. It sounds to me like this debt you have is stressful for her and she is looking for ideal ways to deal with this situation. If she knows how much this car means to you, though, I don't see why she couldn't be more understanding about your feelings and figure out some alternatives, like reducing your debt, instead of completely eliminating it.
<OR>Would you be comfortable with just selling your NSX for the time being, thus eliminating your debt and eventually saving up and buying another one in the future?
Would this be satisfactory for both you and her?
What is your top priority and what is hers?
Just some things to think about and hopefully help you with your decision.

My .02,
Dave

 

[MJK]

Since (arguably) it is only financially important to her that you get rid of the NSX , it seems relevant to look at it from that perspective. If you sell your NSX, with the intent to repurchase another one down the road the following happens:

You lose money on:
*selling mods, and repurchasing them
*paying tax on another NSX purchase
*tax & depreciation of anything that would replace it in the short term
You gain money on:
*the interest on the debt you have eliminated
*any NSX depreciation between when you sell yours and buy another (minimal on early coupes)
*reduced operating costs (tires,insurance, mpg) depending on what you replace it with

I would bet the above net benefit is going to be small and if you like your NSX then I would keep it. If you would sell it and not purchase another one, then that is a different analysis.


Looking at this from a personal standpoint, I would bet dollars to pesos that her real motive in all this is NOT just debt reduction. I have seen and been in situations like this before and the short version of my advice would be: Giving in a relationship is what makes it wonderful, but only if BOTH people do it.

The party line from her seems to be 'just do this, and then we can start down the road to happiness together'. Take it from somebody who has had several friends go down the aisle this way - DO NOT brush this off . Learn about her from how she handles this. She has to want you for who you are, not for who you could be if you changed just a little. In the case of several of my friends, this 'just do this one more thing and then...' mentality goes on for years. They give all they can for years and get nothing in return until they just get so sick of it that they build up resentment and one day start to say no. Divorce follows, hopefully before kids, and they wasted a good portion of thier life on somebody who didn't really care about anybody but themselves.

Please, don't get yourself into that situation. Maybe she is like that, maybe she's not. Take the time to find out.

Sorry for being a little longwinded. Good luck,
Mark

 

[Ko-nsx]

Keep the nsx and whatever else you want to do. Life is to short for to be giving up dreams!. Especially on something you don't owe anything on. If she loves you and vice versa an agreement can be made. I went into my relationship of 5 years with an open mind to be a supportive as possible. I get to keep my toys and she gets to do all that other stuff. It works great. On the debt thing, That is a priority and can be worked out as well, together. Baggage is bagagge, debt, kids and horibble a$$ inlaws!!!! Love and the comittment to the relationship is 1st and foremost. You'll work it out. Keep the X

 

[GT-N]

diew, i dunno man, it's all on you. my girlfriend would slap me, if i got rid of my car! she knows it's a part of my life..

 

[len3.8]

RPM, I am in the same boat as RPM, Married almost 13years together almost 17. She has NEVER asked me to give up anything. She has always worked her a^& off to help to purchase whatever made us happy. When we are both happy, we work better together. She is now a car nut, but doesn't have to have an expensive car. She loves seeing me at the track, she loves car shows. She even likes most of my friends. We have 2 kids, she knows that they will be taken care of, and toys will never come before them.. I just feel that you have to work for something other than just paying bills... What makes you happy is just as important.....
JAO
Len
coming dear!!! I gotta get off the computer now.

 

[Kenny York]

well tomorrow is the day I will find out. I am going to go to Dallas in the eve. On the debt I owe is interest free which is good and not to a bank. I drove the NSX last night in the sunset near the coast and just relaxed with the windows down and drove... and drove. Just thinking on everything that my fellow nsx friends have said. I am keeping the car. It is paid for, ins. on me is pretty cheap ( $93.00 a month full coverage). The car does not depriciate in value that much and is very reliable. She works for the Stock Market. So she is very money concerned and about money for the future, savings, kids college etc. etc... I think that is great on her part. And I admire her for it because she can save money like no other. If I move to Dallas for her I have to give up a lot( Family, JOB, Friends, Ocean, Surfing, Fishing etc. etc.) All I will have is car, TV, X-BOX, Aquarium and my clothes and my race bicycles. I will be moving to her house ( which she says our house) but she bought it So I will also have to find a new job aswell. (Personal Fitness Trainer)... So what I am planning to do is sell the 3 bicycles, ( both of them are what Lance Armstrong rode in the Tour de France 2003) and the otherone already has 32k miles on it in 2 years... carbon fiber gets a beating on a bike
So the bikes will go for sure, and that would bring me down to 1/2 of what I owe. She will just have to take me with baggage
wish me luck!!!

 

[len3.8]

Kenny, It sounds likeyou are giving up plenty. Ultimately you have to be the one to decide if the car goes or stays. I would tell her how much you have given the situation thought. Then base your decision on what you guys come up with together. I mean if that is what you guys really want, to be together. (((YMMV))),
Myself I would give her a chance to really understand about what you have given up for her, It sounds like a lot to me. We all have given you our perspectives, but only you and your girl should be the ones deciding this. You know how biased we all are. You also truly know what your relationship is based on. You know how much she means to you. I do know this that if my wife asked me to ditch the car for her, That car would be gone. Because she would have a hell of a reason to ask.
Good Luck

 

[NSX/MR2]

A true relationship comes way ahead of a car. If I am in your situation, (which I might be here shortly,) I would gladly do it fot the right woman. I know together, we can get another NSX or something even nicer.