Parents & Growing Up

[joove]

For me it is not so much a question of when do I decide things on my own. Its more of what kinds of things do I decide on my own.

Its best to be clear about who ultimately makes the decision. Whether you take your parents advice, a friends advice or heed your own counsel. "You" make the final decision and you live with the consequences. The worst thing would be to not accept a parent's decision as your own and then be bitter about it if things dont work out. If you cannot accept some decisions made for you by your parents, dont risk the potential future bitterness by forcing yourself to accept it. Just say no at that point.

But again, its always nice to tell them why you think their advise wont work for you. You could be surprised at some of the stories they have to back their advice up with. Throw in the reasoning mentioned above and they sddenly like you even more

And I echo Mr. Wolf's sentiments about parents and letting them into your life. The joy they feel and the improvement in the relationship is well worth the occasional irritating probing question.

 

[TheBigRice]

KatyB, I am basically in the same boat as you. I just graduated from school and am going home for a short haitus. My plan was to move to the S.F. and start my life, but my mom would like me to live at home. She will be living all by herself (well she does have a dog and some fish) and would like me to start my career here, but it's just not feasible.

Throw in a culture that dictates children should care for their parents when they get old and you have a full blown dilemma.

However, I think the only solution is to gradually break away while finding her some mah jong friends.

 

[NSXLNT]

They cared for you when you were young, why wouldn't you care for them when they're old?

 

[TheBigRice]

Caring for them relative to living in the same house and sacrificing some aspects that I would get by being in a "bachelor pad."

 

[Tom Larkins]

I can only speek for myself, on important issues I think its wise to seek advise from someone that you know or trust that could be older than you to provide some additional council. It may or may not be a parent. Sometimes its another person around the same age b/c that have experience in a certain issue that I may be facing.

If I remember correctly it was a few years into college, however I would talk to my dad about things only b/c I knew it made him feel good. Can't put a price on that!!