Well I spent a day with the car and tried on various wheels next to it and several things became apparent. Not just to me, but to everyone standing next to me helping me and looking at the car:
1) the shine on a clean wheel, is a plus. As much as I thought a gloss black wheel looks cheap, when on a clean car, the shine from the wheels really adds to the overall luster of the car. Light will even shine off black, and it creates a nice effect. I have to agree with a previous poster that matte colors tend to look dirty. There were a few cars around with dusty dirty wheels, aftermarket ones, black ones, gunmetal ones, and they all looked dirty. In fact the slightest amount of brake dust REALLY showed on matte wheels. For these two reasons, I decided against matte.
2) the two colors that looked best were actually a gloss gunmetal and gloss black. This was a tougher call but all the carbon pieces on the car currently are very glossy black. The gloss black wheel really picked these up and matched well. The gunmetal was somewhat close in color to the silverstone.... And although it still looked fine, it really didn't tie the car together like the gloss black did. The guys that right off the bat had told me "go gunmetal", after seeing the wheels next to the car or on the car, almost unanimously agreed the black looked better on the car.
So the whole thing was a surprise. The gloss black which I probably would not have considered, actually turned out to look best at least on MY CAR with what is currently on it. I was shocked.