I totaly agree hearts change. IMO to really know a person it takes 2 years to build intimacy and trust. For the most part reasonable people will not turn to satan I know it does happen and sorry in your case it did. If it doesn't work then you move on and upgrade. I am positive there are millions of attractive bachelor adult girls in USA and I would say alot are attractive plenty fish in the sea.
Divorce
- Thread starter Sarge
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I totaly agree hearts change. IMO to really know a person it takes 2 years to build intimacy and trust. For the most part reasonable people will not turn to satan I know it does happen and sorry in your case it did. If it doesn't work then you move on and upgrade. I am positive there are millions of attractive bachelor adult girls in USA and I would say alot are attractive plenty fish in the sea.
+1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000......on the prenup. It is nothing more than a seatbelt. Don't we all put on a seat belt just in case we get into a crash? If so, aren't we doing it to protect ourself from possible damage? Most prenup's have factors built into them that give distributions according to how long a marriage lasts. I know that I will never get married again without one. The risk just isn't worth it.
Ok so I hear a lot of people who got divorces talk about getting a prenup, but a lot of them didn't have prenups when they got married. So it seems to be a case of "so as I say, not as I do." That's great, in hindsight a prenup is a great idea, but perhaps "easier said then done." Maybe many of those divorces wouldn't have happened with a prenup because a marriage wouldn't have even existed in the first place with the mere mention of a prenup. If only it were that easy. I've discussed the prenup idea before and the women I've discussed it with not only think it's a bad idea, but wouldn't get married if it came down to establishing one.
So, my question(s) is, how do you think one should go about suggesting a prenup. And for those that say use logic (i.e. seatbelt or insurance example), it doesn't work. Women are illogical and use their ill-concieved logic to make decisions. Secondly if a woman does not agree to a prenup, does that mean you should not get married? Now doesn't that feed her inital arguement that it's all about the money and more of a business/legal transaction than about love/affection/etc. blah blah. Sure a man can say if a woman doesn't want a prenup, then she's just there to take him to the cleaners, but a woman can say the same thing about a man who won't marry without a prenup. And I understand the "protection for both, fair for all" arguement, but again, that doesn't work with women either.
So, my question(s) is, how do you think one should go about suggesting a prenup. And for those that say use logic (i.e. seatbelt or insurance example), it doesn't work. Women are illogical and use their ill-concieved logic to make decisions. Secondly if a woman does not agree to a prenup, does that mean you should not get married? Now doesn't that feed her inital arguement that it's all about the money and more of a business/legal transaction than about love/affection/etc. blah blah. Sure a man can say if a woman doesn't want a prenup, then she's just there to take him to the cleaners, but a woman can say the same thing about a man who won't marry without a prenup. And I understand the "protection for both, fair for all" arguement, but again, that doesn't work with women either.
It's very simple. I mentioned a pre-nup to a girlfriend once and she got totally offended. It really turned me off. Who the F*ck are you to think you've got some "right" to the shit I built for myself before I even knew you?
I think if a girl gets pissy about a pre-nup it screams "I'm a golddigger". I absolutly will not get married without a prenup. End of story. I promise you the girl wants to get married worse than you do. She will eventually cave or she won't get to walk down the isle. And honestly... it's just the right thing to do. I shouldn't get some girls stuff that she had before we met and vice versa... if you can't find someone to agree on that simple point, then I certainly don't think she's someone you should be looking to marry. Just MHO.
I like the idea of insurance but from the girls prospective shes probably thinking you only wana prenump so you can walk away with nothing to lose lol. I say don't show your money until you trust her or find a nice church going girl who could care less what kind of car you drive.
The first time I got married I never thought in a thousand years that I'de be getting a divorce, hence the reason why I didn't have one. Previosu to that I broke off an engagement because I was 100% convinced that if I married that girl, that ultimately I would have gotten a divorce. With my current gf I've already discussed how I would never get married without one, and she too has said that she would never get married without one either. :smile:
Mention it on the first date unless she is really hot. Then at least wait until you get a little.
Locally I am fairly well known. Everyone thought I would never get married. Everyone knew I would not get married without a prenup. It sure didn't stop a lot of girls from trying though. :biggrin:
From your picture I can tell your a baller playon player hahahah
And she can walk away with something to gain????
One of the few reasons why a girl doesn't want a prenup is so the man won't cheat. If there is no prenup and the man cheats then the woman can get revenge. Women love revenge.
Soooooo, the you had to wait a thousand years to get rid of her? Probably why Paul offered the 150m.
Was for a while, Gave it up for greener pastures. That's right like put out to pasture. LOL:biggrin:
Ah man the good old days.
<-------does the 1000 mile stare.
Nope, I got rid of her in a year an a half and for much less than 150mil. Zilcho to be exact. :biggrin:
Here's what happens when the guy "changes" in a marriage.
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Yup, see there's that logic thing again. :biggrin: I understand what you are saying because it makes sense. We all get it. But women all had the logic surgically removed from them at birth and this type of arguement doesn't fly with them (or the ones I've talked to). :tongue:
The problem is that it's so easy to say, F them I'll just find someone who will sign a prenup. But then there are other "deal breakers" that guys will say take it or leave it. Like if they don't like my friends or family then F them, I'll find someone who does. Or if she doesn't take care of her body, then F them, I'll find someone who does. Or if she can't cook or clean, etc. whatever it may be. I'm just saying if we draw such a hard line on everything, the chances of finding someone who meets every single one is like having all of the stars and planets line up on leap year in a palindrome number year. And if such one exists, then she's probably already taken. Then who is the joke on? While someone is still waiting for "the One who meets all criteria and will sign a prenup" (and probably never finding it) millions of perfectly good women who aren't willing to sign a prenup are getting married and living perfectly good lives.
I do agree on the concept of a prenup but is it really a make or break deal?
YES! It's a make or break deal. Quite honestly I can't imagine myself ever getting married again. I mean really, why should I? But if I did, it would most certainly be a make or break deal.:biggrin:
I guess it really depends on what everyone is putting on the table. If someone is young and doesn't really have that much to lose I guess no prenup would be ok. Also as I know some of my friends just live day to day and really are not trying to build a future so for them a prenup wouldn't be in order.
Well it's not an easy thing to say ,but if your with someone you couldn't tell about something that matters a lot to you what kind of relationship is it?
If your afraid she'll hold a temper tantrum or cut you off then understand that she'll be the same way +10 in a marriage. She at least let you know that upfront. If she's that way then don't continue because that's not what you want to do. Be an adult say "sorry sweetie/honey/b*tch" this isn't working out and we need to go our separate ways. Don't hang around make your intentions clear and move on. If she gets clingy or says lets try and work it out be firm and let her know your not happy. Never ask them to change your fooling yourself PEOPLE DONT CHANGE they just hide stuff:biggrin:
Keep dating till you find what your looking for. Don't look for Ms perfect she doesn't exist. Well what the hell did you expect your not perfect either:biggrin:
It would definitely be a deal breaker for me, among many other things you listed. It all depends on the specific person though. I think this is when the Ladder Theory comes into play.
Doesn't it depend on state laws and marriage length? Plus kids?
You haven't even met me yet! I'm perfect. And modest too! :biggrin: :tongue: :wink:
No seriously, nobody I've talked to about a prenup has ever had a temper tantrum. They usually just say, it's something that means a lot to them. That in a way you are putting the curse on the relationship before it even gets started. Or it's just their "thing"; just one of their requirements.
And I can respect that. I have my "things" too. Like, I must have a kid or children and I say that up front. If they don't want to ever have a kid, then I move on. I have yet to meet one that absolutely didn't want kids. Some prefer not to have kids, but are open to the idea. So if they can be flexibe on a hard line item I have, then shouldn't I be flexible on a hard line item they have? And keep in mind, requiring kids is just as money intensive, imposing and having long term ramifications as a prenup/marriage (at least in my eyes).
And how much you can spend on a lawyer.:biggrin:
I've also noticed that people who say a prenup is a must, also do not really ever want to ever get married anyway. That like negotiating the price of a car you don't want anyway. "I'll give you $1 for the car, take it or leave it."
However, I DO want to get married. I DO want that car. That negotiating technique isn't really going to work for me.
However, I DO want to get married. I DO want that car. That negotiating technique isn't really going to work for me.
A little of topic there are some states where women cannot file for marriage under the age of 21.
I think its one them midwestern states.Does the state provide assistance from lawyers in divorce cases free or are there conditions such as income etcc?
