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THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. (75%
OF YOU WILL TEST THIS ONE)

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.
He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong
parents,daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system;
A few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the
shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because
he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower'
because in the time when all original print had to be set in
individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the
case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case'
letters.

17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with
the other at the same time . hence, multi-tasking was invented.

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during
World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there
was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with:
orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10
years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly
go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween"
was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies,
you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of
money in coins without being able to make change for
a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you
can't sink in quicksand ( and you thought this list was
completely useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English
law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with
anything wider than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record
player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player
on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves
Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat
a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
It's the same with apples!

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified Kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the
book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into
space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.
 
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People whose first names are generally of the other sex:

Actress Michael Learned
Writer Evelyn Waugh
Poet Joyce Kilmer
Humorist Jean Shepherd
British spy Harold Adrian Russell ("Kim") Philby
French writer George Sand (pseudonym of Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin)
Marion Morrison (real birth name of actor John Wayne)
Writer Isak Dinesen (pseudonym of Karen Blixen)
Actress Gene Tierney
Actress Sean Young
Actress Daryl Hannah
Actress Glenn Close
Sportswriter (and Maury's father) Shirley Povich


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First names which aren't particularly associated with one gender more than another:

Jan - Hooks; Murray
Robin - Williams; Quivers
Dana - Carvey, Andrews; Delany, Plato
Whitney - Houston; Young
Morgan - Fairchild; Freeman
Lee
Ashley - Judd
Randy - Quaid, Travis
Kelly - LeBrock, Preston
Tracy - Nelson
Terry - Bradshaw
Ryan - O'Neal
Lesley - Stahl
Chris - Rock
Sandy - Duncan
Adrian - Paul, Zmed
Lynn
Casey
Jamie - Farr, Foxx; -Lynn Sigler, Lee Curtis
Colby
Shelby
Shannon - Elizabeth, Tweed
Dylan
Blake
Carson - McCullers; Daly
Toby
Shelley - Berman; Duvall, Fabares, Long, Winters
Stacy
Drew
Alexis
Dale
Noel
Cameron - Crowe; Diaz
Tyler
Merle - Haggard; Oberon
Of course, on that note there's Julia Sweeney's SNL character Pat. (Pat being short for ...?)



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Mattress companies whose names start with the "s" sound:

Sealy
Serta
Simmons
Stearns & Foster
Spring Air

Is there some reason for these examples, like maybe a form of subliminal advertising?


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Auto repair companies whose names have the "my" sound in them:

Midas
Meineke
Lee Myles


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Sitcoms on which actors play characters with their own names:

"The Burns and Allen Show": George Burns, Gracie Allen and their son Ronnie Burns; also Bill Goodwin (who he?) and Harry von Zell
"The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet": The Nelson family - Father Ozzie, mother Harriet, and sons David and Ricky
"The Monkees": Mickey Dolenz, Davey Jones, Mike Nesmith, and Peter Tork
"It's Garry Shandling's Show": Garry Shandling
"Seinfeld": Jerry Seinfeld


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Have you ever noticed that on quite a few of the sitcoms in which Tony Danza has starred he plays a character with the first name Tony? For the record, here they are:

"Taxi": Tony Banta
"Who's The Boss": Anthony 'Tony' Micelli
"The Tony Danza Show": Anthony 'Tony' DiMeo
"Hudson Street": Tony Canetti

Does he have some kind of actor's block which inhibits him from getting into a character if it doesn't share his name? Or are writers at a loss for names?


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Names of people, places, or things which are double:

Jean-Paul Jean-Paul (marathon runner on "Seinfeld")
The island of Pago Pago
Brooklyn Rabbi Abraham Abraham of the Coney Island Polar Bear Club
Mahi-mahi (a fish)
Baden-Baden, Germany
Humbert Humbert, character in "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov
"Rochelle Rochelle" (name of a movie and a Broadway show on "Seinfeld")
Peru's Pichu Pichu mountain
Duran Duran
Sirhan Sirhan, assassin of Robert Kennedy
Bamm-Bamm Rubble
Boo-Boo Bear (Yogi's friend)
Woof-Woof (Eddie Munster's stuffed werewolf doll)
Yo-Yo Ma
Bora Bora (in Tahiti Polynesia)
Walla Walla, Washington


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People of Long Island:

Cy Ossett (Syosset)
Minnie Ola (Mineola)
Ron Konkoma (Ronkonkoma)
Glen Cove (Glen Cove)
Lynn Brook (Lynbrook)
Jerry Coe (Jericho)
Beth Page (Bethpage)
Carl Place (Carle Place)
Dick Sills (Dix Hills)


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Non-standard "re" verbs:

Renege - What would it mean to "nege" again, since there's no such word - verb or otherwise - "nege?"
Repair - To pair one more time?
Reveal - There is a verb "veal," meaning "to kill and dress (a calf) for veal." But I think that once a calf has been vealed it can't be vealed a second time!
Rebuff - If somebody rebuffs you, does that mean that he has shined you twice?
Retard - If at first you don't succeed, tard, tard again.


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"Cities" in New York City:

Lefrak City
Co-Op City
Battery Park City
Tudor City
Radio City
Starrett City (as of 2002, now called Spring Creek Towers)
Industry City
Long Island City
Alphabet City

That's not to mention such other "municipalities" as Stuyvesant Town, Peter Cooper Village, and Rochdale Village.


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Unnecessarily-long promotional telephone numbers:

1-800-MATTRESS (At least they tell you to "leave off the last 'S' for savings.")
1-866-HEALTHYNY
1-877-JMLAWYER (Jacoby & Meyers)
1-800-CHRYSLER
1-877-DCISTORE (Discovery Channel Store)
1-800-CHAMPION (Champion Mortgage)
1-800-8-BATTERY (Rechargeable Battery Recycling Corporation, www.rbrc.org)
1-800-80-SEAMANS (Seaman's Furniture)
1-800-JENNIFER (Jennifer Convertibles)
1-800-TDWATERHOUSE
1-800-THECRAVE (White Castle)
1-800-OUTREACH (Outreach Center, www.outreachcenter.org)
1-800-FOXWOODS (Foxwoods Resort Casino) (Their toll-free number used to be 1-800-PLAY-BIG. That one had only seven digits, but I guess their new number is more personal.)
1-800-LOVEBIRD (Air Jamaica)
1-800-TERMINIX
1-212-MARGARITA (Trolman, Glaser & Lichtman, PC)
1-888-HALL-OF-FAME (The National Baseball Hall of Fame)
1-866-TCICOLLEGE (TCI, College of Technology)
1-877-MY-SUZUKI
1-888-CELEBREX
1-800-DISCOVER (Discover Card)
1-866-CINGULAR
1-888-TRAVELOCITY
1-800-EARTHLINK
1-800-EXPEDITION (Lindblad Expeditions)
1-877-4-TRANSITIONS (Transitions Lenses)
1-800-BUTTERBALL (The Butterball Turkey Talk Line)
1-800-PRICEFUNDS (T. Rowe Price)
1-800-MEDICARE
1-888-4-OPTIMUM (Optimum Online)
1-877-Join COMCAST
1-800-PROGRESSIVE (Progressive Auto Insurance)
1-888-OFF PROTECTS
1-866-PREVACID
1-800-ING-DIRECT
1-800-WALGREENS
1-866-98-DIGITAL (IO Digital Cable)


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People whose first names are titles:

Director King Vidor
Kennedy in-law Sargent Shriver - he's married to Eunice Kennedy Shriver (O.K. So his name isn't spelled "sergeant." But it sounds like a title.)
Actor Judge Reinhold (According to imdb.com, his birth name is Edward Ernest Reinhold Jr. His father nicknamed him "Judge" when he was just two weeks old.)
Actor Dean Jones
Actor Squire Fridell - best known for many years as the pitchman for Toyota
Legendary surfer Duke Kahanamoku (He was named after his father, who was named "Duke" following an official visit to the islands from the Duke of Edinburgh, when some families named their sons after him.)
Prince Michael Jackson, son of Michael Jackson
Prince - qualifies for this category because his birth name is Prince Rogers Nelson


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Words, terms, expressions, and names which consist of two or more - but pretty much only two - rhyming parts:


"Chill pill" • "Hurdy-gurdy" • "Real deal" • "Walkie-talkie" • "Slim Jim" • "Cookbook" • "Willy-nilly" • "Hanky-panky" • "Pell-mell" • "Ragtag" • "Helter-skelter" • "Boob tube" • "Hotshot" • "Herky-jerky" • "Space race" • "Humdrum" • "Downtown" • "Kowtow" • "Wingding" • "Pop top" • "Jet set" • "Fame game" • "Pall Mall" • "Hobnob" • "Pooper scooper" • "Hully-Gully" • "Phony baloney" • "Chrome dome" • "Nightlight" • "Quick Pick" • "Handy-dandy" • "Space case" • "Rhyme time" • "Seabee" • "Good wood" • "Wavy Gravy" • "Greek Week" • "Hippy-dippy" • "[The] Spruce Goose" • "Claptrap" • "Fat cat" • "Moptop" • "Payday" • "God Squad" • "Double-trouble" • "Powwow" • "Teepee" • "Snail mail" • "Tex-Mex" • "Creature feature" • "Bleacher creature" • "Okey-dokey" • "Dubble Bubble" • "Cutie patootie" • "Dream Team" • "Namby-pamby" • "Shock jock" • "Green bean" • "Lite Brite" • "[The] Clue Crew" (from "Jeopardy!") • "Slo-mo" • "Hell's bells" • "Roger dodger" • "Hoodoo" • "Fender-bender" • "Hokey-Pokey" • "Hotsy-totsy" • "Wild child" • "Dead-head" (or "Dead Head") • "Chunky Monkey [Ice Cream]" • "Boy-toy" • "Shaq Attack" • "Hubbub" • "Chip dip" • "Mayday" (or "May Day") • "Pegleg" • "Voodoo" • "Freebie" • "Heebie-jeebie" • "Fleet Street" • "Stun gun" • "Zoot suit" • "[The] bee's knees" • "Goof-proof" • "Big rig" • "Fine wine" • "Rold Gold [Pretzels]" • "Old Gold [Cigarettes]" • "Gangbang" • "Ring Ding" • "Chop shop" • "Killer-diller" • "Higgledy-piggledy" • "Bigwig" • "Chilly Willy" • "Hoity-toity" • "Backpack" • "Sump pump" • "Rare air" • "[The] Mod Squad" • "Tinky-Winky" (of the Teletubbies) • "Lovey-dovey" • "Care Bear" • "Palsy-walsy" • "Fuzzy-wuzzy" • "Tootsie-wootsie" (from the song "In The Good Old Summertime") • "Itsy-bitsy" • "Itty-bitty" • "Hurly-burly" • "Wide-eyed" • "Party hearty" • "Tricky Dickie" • "'Woolly Bully'" • "Silly Willy" (or "Silly Billy") • "Willy-Nilly" • "Hodgepodge" • "Chick flick" • "Sh*t fit" (Hint: the first word obviously rhymes with "fit") • "Mellow Yellow" • "Jelly Belly" • "Henny-Penny" (also "Turkey-Lurkey" "Cocky-Locky" "Goosey-Poosey" and "Foxy-Woxy") • "[The] Hammill Camel" • "Roly-poly" • "Oshkosh [Wisconsin]" • "Torpor" • "[The] Boer War" • "Handstand" • "Bandstand" • "Grandstand" • "Boo-hoo" • "Tech wreck" • "Flower power" • "Culture vulture" • "Funny money" • "Nutter Butter" • "Near beer" • "Hong Kong" • "Ground round" • "Brain drain" • "Shady lady" • "Hocus pocus" • "Famous Amos" • "Lean Cuisine" • "Tutti frutti" • "Kiwi" • "Peewee" • "Holey moley" • "Humpty Dumpty" • "Loosey-goosey" • "Rockem Sockem [Robots]" • "Heyday" • "Abracadabra" • "Razzmatazz" • "Bozo" • "Wowie kazowie" • "Yoko Ono" (a quadruple) • "Bow-wow" • "Scanty panty" (or is it "pantie?") • "Hubba Bubba [Bubble Gum]" • "Teenie Beanie [Jelly Beans]" • "Bed head" • "Teen queen" • "Nitty-gritty" • "Fire Wire" • "You snooze, you lose" • "Blame game" • "Razzle-dazzle" • "Ill will" • "Boom-boom room" (a triple) • "Bony Maronie" • "No-tell motel" • "Chummy-wummy" • "Teenie-weenie" • "Skinny-minnie" • "Joe Blow" • "Fight night" • "Mars bars" (a bit of a stretch, I admit) • "Rhymin' Simon" • "Lid kid" (a not-so-kind term for a yarmulke-wearing individual) • "Wham-bam" • "Hugger-mugger" • "Eensie-weensie" (or "Eensy-weensy") • "Teensie-weensie" (or "Teensy-Weensy") • "Super-duper" • "White flight" • "Mumbo-jumbo" • "Joe Schmoe" • "[The] Big Dig" • "Even Steven" • "Swiss Miss [Hot Chocolate]" • "Augie Doggie" • "Squiddly Diddly" • "Handy Andy" • "Inspector Detector" (from "Speed Racer") • "Toss Across" • "Low blow" • "Magilla Gorilla" • "'Blues Clues'" • "[The] late, great [...]" • "Deep sleep" • "Prime time" • "Zany Brainy" • "Sweet treat" • "Blanche Panch" (name of Oscar Madison's ex-wife if she were to marry her beau, Cecil Panch, on TV's "The Odd Couple") • "'Neon' Deion [Sanders]" • "Nifty Fifty" (the 50 most favored stocks by institutional investors) • "'Freaky Deaky'" (by Elmore Leonard) • "Pain train" • "Fussy-wussy" • "'[The] Name Game'" (as in "Jim Jim bo bim, banana fanna foe fim, fee fie moe mim, Jim") • "Footsie-wootsie" • "Heart smart" • "[The] Dairy Fairy" (the Kraft Cheese Cow mascot) • "'Teamo Supremo'" (Saturday morning cartoon series) • "Moldy oldie" • "Betsy Wetsy" (a doll by Ideal Toy) • "Nutty Putty" (a Silly Putty-like product) • "Honky tonky" • "Dag bag" (colloquial name for a shopping bag of New York's D'Agostino's Supermarkets) • "Wheeler dealer" • "[The] mama pajama" (from Paul Simon's "Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard") • "Piggly Wiggly" (self-service grocery stores) • "Yoo-Hoo" • "Fine line" • "Oompa Loompa" (one of the little guys with orange-colored faces in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory") • "Boogie woogie" • "Sneak peek" • "Spuddy Buddy" (Idaho Potato Commission mascot) • "Fancy shmancy" • "'Super Trooper'" (song by ABBA) • "Manny Hanny" (nickname for former bank Manufacturers Havover Trust) • "Pot shot" • "[The] Frito Bandito" • "Hootchy-Kootchy" • "Wacko Jacko" (unflattering nickname in the press for Michael Jackson) • "Loco-Foco" (name given in derision to a faction that split off from the Democratic party in New York in 1835) • "Jeez Louise" • "Ralph Malph" • "Artsy-fartsy" (or "Arty-farty") • "'I Spy'" • "Ronald McDonald" • "Milli Vanilli" • "Money Honey" (nickname of CNBC's Maria Bartiromo) • "Lynyrd Skynyrd" • "Picnic" • "Mootsies Tootsies" (brand of women's shoes) • "Cabo Wabo" •
Almost, or questionable:


"Chug-a-lug" • "Rope-a-dope" • "Dizzy Miss Lizzie" • "Use it or lose it" • "Chock-a-block" • "Lean, mean fighting machine" •


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Songs whose titles aren't included in their lyrics:

"Unchained Melody" (The Righteous Brothers)
"Bohemian Rhapsody" (Queen)
"Flying" (The Beatles) - trivially, because it has no lyrics
"Sympathy For the Devil" (The Rolling Stones)
"Randy Scouse Git" (The Monkees)
"Papa Gene's Blues" (The Monkees)
"A Day In the Life" (The Beatles)
"Yer Blues" (The Beatles)
"Love You To" (The Beatles) - begins "Each day just goes so fast / I turn around, it's past / You don't time to hang a sign on me"
"Tomorrow Never Knows" (The Beatles) - begins "Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream / It is not dying, it is not dying"
"Young Turks" (Rod Stewart)
"Miami 2017" (Billy Joel)
"Daily Nightly" (The Monkees)
"Rockaria!" (Electric Light Orchestra) - begins "Just got back from the downtown palais / Where the music was so sweet / It knocked me right back in the alley"
"The Ballad of John and Yoko" (The Beatles)


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"B" communities in Brooklyn:

Bath Beach
Bay Ridge
Bedford-Stuyvesant
Bensonhurst
Bergen Beach
Borough Park
Brighton Beach
Brooklyn Heights
Brownsville
Bushwick


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Named weekdays:

Shrove Tuesday, or Fat Tuesday
Ash Wednesday
Palm Sunday
Holy Thursday, or Maundy Thursday
Good Friday
Easter Sunday
Ascension Thursday
Super Bowl Sunday
"Manic Monday" (song by the Bangles)
Super Tuesday (big day of U.S. presidential primaries)
"Freaky Friday" (film, 1976; remake, 2003)
"Black Sunday" (film, 1977, directed by John Frankenheimer)
Black Sunday (The Dust Bowl, April 14, 1935)
Black Monday (October 19, 1987, U.S. stock market crash)
Black Monday (October 28, 1929, the start of the Great Depression)
Black Tuesday (U.S. stock market, October 29, 1929)
Black Wednesday (In British politics and economics, September 16, 1992, when the government was forced to withdraw the pound from the European Exchange Rate Mechanism)
Black Thursday (stock market crash, October 24, 1929)
Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving, as it is known in the retail industry, supposedly because it's the day retailers turn the corner and see their balance sheets move out of the red and into the black)
Black Friday (September 24, 1869, a stock market crash in the United States)
Black Friday (January 31, 1919, a riot in Glasgow, Scotland, stemming from industrial unrest)
Black Friday (January 13, 1939, when a firestorm swept across Victoria, Australia, killing 71 people)
Black Friday (September 8, 1978, a massacre of protesters in Iran)
"Black Friday" (film, 1940, starring Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi)
Bloody Sunday (Northern Ireland, January 30, 1972)
Bloody Thursday (San Francisco, July 5, 1934)
Bloody Friday (Belfast, Northern Ireland, July 21, 1972)
 
SIGNS

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : "Yesterday's Meals on
Wheels"

On a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call
your plumber.."

Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee ! "Invite us to your next
blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello Can we pick
your nose?"

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We
want tows."

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke,we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push"

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're
looking for,you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your
feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear
you coming."

In a Veterinarian 's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you
send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry,
Come on in and get fed up ."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully.
We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little
grills."

On another Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : "We're Number
One in Number Two."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

"People will forget what you said,
People will forget what you did,
But people will never forget how you made them feel"
 
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

Untrue

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.
He was albino.

Untrue

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because
he doesn't wear pants.

Mostly untrue

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there
was never a recorded Wendy before!

Untrue

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10
years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

Untrue & Untrue
 
does anybody know who made the music on this? (it begins 20% in...)

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bGrRTdolTv4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bGrRTdolTv4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

a freakin UFO drops through a worm hole and is caught on tape and your worried about the music in the background???:eek:



:biggrin:
 
I guarantee at least one of you will try this at home:redface: :biggrin:


<a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=12884983">Invisible rope prank</a><br><embed src="http://lads.myspace.com/videos/myspacetv_vplayer0005.swf" flashvars="m=12884983&type=video" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="430" height="346"></embed><br><a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.addToProfileConfirm&videoid=12884983&title=Invisible rope prank">Add to My Profile</a> | <a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.home"> More Videos</a>


http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=12884983
 
Great video, thanks for pointing it out. Someone once said that you are either a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, or you are a 9/11 coincidence theorist.

Happy coincidenting!

That governments have permitted terrorist acts against their own people, and have even themselves been perpetrators in order to find strategic advantage is quite likely true, but this is the United States we're talking about.

That intelligence agencies, financiers, terrorists and narco-criminals have a long history together is well established, but the Nugan Hand Bank, BCCI, Banco Ambrosiano, the P2 Lodge, the CIA/Mafia anti-Castro/Kennedy alliance, Iran/Contra and the rest were a long time ago, so there’s no need to rehash all that. That was then, this is now!

That Jonathan Bush’s Riggs Bank has been found guilty of laundering terrorist funds and fined a US-record $25 million must embarrass his nephew George, but it's still no justification for leaping to paranoid conclusions.

That George Bush's brother Marvin sat on the board of the Kuwaiti-owned company which provided electronic security to the World Trade Centre, Dulles Airport and United Airlines means nothing more than you must admit those Bush boys have done alright for themselves.

That George Bush found success as a businessman only after the investment of Osama’s brother Salem and reputed al Qaeda financier Khalid bin Mahfouz is just one of those things - one of those crazy things.

That Osama bin Laden is known to have been an asset of US foreign policy in no way implies he still is.

That al Qaeda was active in the Balkan conflict, fighting on the same side as the US as recently as 1999, while the US protected its cells, is merely one of history's little aberrations.

The claims of Michael Springman, State Department veteran of the Jeddah visa bureau, that the CIA ran the office and issued visas to al Qaeda members so they could receive training in the United States, sound like the sour grapes of someone who was fired for making such wild accusations.

That one of George Bush's first acts as President, in January 2001, was to end the two-year deployment of attack submarines which were positioned within striking distance of al Qaeda's Afghanistan camps, even as the group's guilt for the Cole bombing was established, proves that a transition from one administration to the next is never an easy task.

That so many influential figures in and close to the Bush White House had expressed, just a year before the attacks, the need for a "new Pearl Harbor" before their militarist ambitions could be fulfilled, demonstrates nothing more than the accidental virtue of being in the right place at the right time.

That the company PTECH, founded by a Saudi financier placed on America’s Terrorist Watch List in October 2001, had access to the FAA’s entire computer system for two years before the 9/11 attack, means he must not have been such a threat after all.

That whistleblower Indira Singh was told to keep her mouth shut and forget what she learned when she took her concerns about PTECH to her employers and federal authorities, suggests she lacked the big picture. And that the Chief Auditor for JP Morgan Chase told Singh repeatedly, as she answered questions about who supplied her with what information, that "that person should be killed," suggests he should take an anger management seminar.

That on May 8, 2001, Dick Cheney took upon himself the job of co-ordinating a response to domestic terror attacks even as he was crafting the administration’s energy policy which bore implications for America's military, circumventing the established infrastructure and ignoring the recommendations of the Hart-Rudman report, merely shows the VP to be someone who finds it hard to delegate.

That the standing order which covered the shooting down of hijacked aircraft was altered on June 1, 2001, taking discretion away from field commanders and placing it solely in the hands of the Secretary of Defense, is simply poor planning and unfortunate timing. Fortunately the error has been corrected, as the order was rescinded shortly after 9/11.

That in the weeks before 9/11, FBI agent Colleen Rowley found her investigation of Zacarias Moussaoui so perversely thwarted that her colleagues joked that bin Laden had a mole at the FBI, proves the stress-relieving virtue of humour in the workplace.

That Dave Frasca of the FBI’s Radical Fundamentalist Unit received a promotion after quashing multiple, urgent requests for investigations into al Qaeda assets training at flight schools in the summer of 2001 does appear on the surface odd, but undoubtedly there's a good reason for it, quite possibly classified.

That FBI informant Randy Glass, working an undercover sting, was told by Pakistani intelligence operatives that the World Trade Center towers were coming down, and that his repeated warnings which continued until weeks before the attacks, including the mention of planes used as weapons, were ignored by federal authorities, is simply one of the many "What Ifs" of that tragic day.

That over the summer of 2001 Washington received many urgent, senior-level warnings from foreign intelligence agencies and governments - including those of Germany, France, Great Britain, Russia, Egypt, Israel, Morocco, Afghanistan and others - of impending terror attacks using hijacked aircraft and did nothing, demonstrates the pressing need for a new Intelligence Czar.

That John Ashcroft stopped flying commercial aircraft in July 2001 on account of security considerations had nothing to do with warnings regarding September 11, because he said so to the 9/11 Commission.

That former lead counsel for the House David Schippers says he’d taken to John Ashcroft’s office specific warnings he’d learned from FBI agents in New York of an impending attack – even naming the proposed dates, names of the hijackers and the targets – and that the investigations had been stymied and the agents threatened, proves nothing but David Schipper’s pathetic need for attention.

That Garth Nicolson received two warnings from contacts in the intelligence community and one from a North African head of state, which included specific site, date and source of the attacks, and passed the information to the Defense Department and the National Security Council to evidently no effect, clearly amounts to nothing, since virtually nobody has ever heard of him.

That in the months prior to September 11, self-described US intelligence operative Delmart Vreeland sought, from a Toronto jail cell, to get US and Canadian authorities to heed his warning of his accidental discovery of impending catastrophic attacks is worthless, since Vreeland was a dubious character, notwithstanding the fact that many of his claims have since been proven true.

That FBI Special Investigator Robert Wright claims that agents assigned to intelligence operations actually protect terrorists from investigation and prosecution, that the FBI shut down his probe into terrorist training camps, and that he was removed from a money-laundering case that had a direct link to terrorism, sounds like yet more sour grapes from a disgruntled employee.

That George Bush had plans to invade Afghanistan on his desk before 9/11 demonstrates only the value of being prepared.

The suggestion that securing a pipeline across Afghanistan figured into the White House’s calculations is as ludicrous as the assertion that oil played a part in determining war in Iraq.

That Afghanistan is once again the world’s principal heroin producer is an unfortunate reality, but to claim the CIA is still actively involved in the narcotics trade is to presume bad faith on the part of the agency.

Mahmood Ahmed, chief of Pakistan’s ISI, must not have authorized an al Qaeda payment of $100,000 to Mohammed Atta days before the attacks, and was not meeting with senior Washington officials over the week of 9/11, because I didn’t read anything about him in the official report.

That Porter Goss met with Ahmed the morning of September 11 in his capacity as Chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence has no bearing whatsoever upon his recent selection by the White House to head the Central Intelligence Agency.

That Goss's congressional seat encompasses the 9/11 hijackers' Florida base of operation, including their flight schools, is precisely the kind of meaningless factoid a conspiracy theorist would bring up.

It's true that George HW Bush and Dick Cheney spent the evening of September 10 alone in the Oval Office, but what's wrong with old colleagues catching up? And it's true that George HW Bush and Shafig bin Laden, Osama's brother, spent the morning of September 11 together at a board meeting of the Carlyle Group, but the bin Ladens are a big family.

That FEMA arrived in New York on Sept 10 to prepare for a scheduled biowarfare drill, and had a triage centre ready to go that was larger and better equipped than the one that was lost in the collapse of WTC 7, was a lucky twist of fate.

Newsweek’s report that senior Pentagon officials cancelled flights on Sept 10 for the following day on account of security concerns is only newsworthy because of what happened the following morning.

That George Bush's telephone logs for September 11 do not exist should surprise no one, given the confusion of the day.

That Mohamed Atta attended the International Officer's School at Maxwell Air Force Base, that Abdulaziz Alomari attended Brooks Air Force Base Aerospace Medical School, that Saeed Alghamdi attended the Defense Language Institute in Monterey merely shows it is a small world, after all.

That Lt Col Steve Butler, Vice Chancellor for student affairs of the Defense Language Institute during Alghamdi's terms, was disciplined, removed from his post and threatened with court martial when he wrote "Bush knew of the impending attacks on America. He did nothing to warn the American people because he needed this war on terrorism. What is...contemptible is the President of the United States not telling the American people what he knows for political gain," is the least that should have happened for such disrespect shown his Commander in Chief.

That Mohammed Atta dressed like a Mafioso, had a stripper girlfriend, smuggled drugs, was already a licensed pilot when he entered the US, enjoyed pork chops, drank to excess and did cocaine, was closer to Europeans than Arabs in Florida, and included the names of defence contractors on his email list, proves how dangerous the radical fundamentalist Muslim can be.

That 43 lbs of heroin was found on board the Lear Jet owned by Wally Hilliard, the owner of Atta’s flight school, just three weeks after Atta enrolled – the biggest seizure ever in Central Florida – was just bad luck. That Hilliard was not charged shows how specious the claims for conspiracy truly are.

That Hilliard’s plane had made 30-round trips to Venezuela with the same passengers who always paid cash, that the plane had been supplied by a pair of drug smugglers who had also outfitted CIA drug runner Barry Seal, and that 9/11 commissioner Richard ben-Veniste had been Seal’s attorney before Seal’s murder, shows nothing but the lengths to which conspiracists will go to draw sinister conclusions.

Reports of insider trading on 9/11 are false, because the SEC investigated and found only respectable investors who will remain nameless involved, and no terrorists, so the windfall profit-taking was merely, as ever, coincidental.

That heightened security for the World Trade Centre was lifted immediately prior to the attacks illustrates that it always happens when you least expect it.

That Hani Hanjour, the pilot of Flight 77, was so incompetent he could not fly a Cessna in August, but in September managed to fly a 767 at excessive speed into a spiraling, 270-degree descent and a level impact of the first floor of the Pentagon, on the only side that was virtually empty and had been hardened to withstand a terrorist attack, merely demonstrates that people can do almost anything once they set their minds to it.

That none of the flight data recorders were said to be recoverable even though they were located in the tail sections, and that until 9/11, no solid-state recorder in a catastrophic crash had been unrecoverable, shows how there's a first time for everything.

That Mohammed Atta left a uniform, a will, a Koran, his driver's license and a "how to fly planes" video in his rental car at the airport means he had other things on his mind.

The mention of Israelis with links to military-intelligence having been arrested on Sept 11 videotaping and celebrating the attacks, of an Israeli espionage ring surveiling DEA and defense installations and trailing the hijackers, and of a warning of impending attacks delivered to the Israeli company Odigo two hours before the first plane hit, does not deserve a response. That the stories also appeared in publications such as Ha'aretz and Forward is a sad display of self-hatred among certain elements of the Israeli media.

That multiple military wargames and simulations were underway the morning of 9/11 – one simulating the crash of a plane into a building; another, a live-fly simulation of multiple hijackings – and took many interceptors away from the eastern seaboard and confused field commanders as to which was a real hijacked aircraft and which was a hoax, was a bizarre coincidence, but no less a coincidence.

That the National Military Command Center ops director asked a rookie substitute to stand his watch at 8:30 am on Sept. 11 is nothing more than bad timing.

That a recording made Sept 11 of air traffic controllers’ describing what they had witnessed, was destroyed by an FAA official who crushed it in his hand, cut the tape into little pieces and dropped them in different trash cans around the building, is something no doubt that overzealous official wishes he could undo.

That the FBI knew precisely which Florida flight schools to descend upon hours after the attacks should make every American feel safer knowing their federal agents are on the ball.

That a former flight school executive believes the hijackers were "double agents," and says about Atta and associates, "Early on I gleaned that these guys had government protection. They were let into this country for a specific purpose," and was visited by the FBI just four hours after the attacks to intimidate him into silence, proves he's an unreliable witness, for the simple reason there is no conspiracy.

That Jeb Bush was on board an aircraft that removed flight school records to Washington in the middle of the night on Sept 12th demonstrates how seriously the governor takes the issue of national security.

To insinuate evil motive from the mercy flights of bin Laden family members and Saudi royals after 9/11 shows the sickness of the conspiratorial mindset.

Le Figaro’s report in October 2001, known to have originated with French intelligence, that the CIA met Osama bin Laden in a Dubai hospital in July 2001, proves again the perfidy of the French.

That the tape in which bin Laden claims responsibility for the attacks was released by the State Department after having been found providentially by US forces in Afghanistan, and depicts a fattened Osama with a broader face and a flatter nose, proves Osama, and Osama alone, masterminded 9/11.

That at the battle of Tora Bora, where bin Laden was surrounded on three sides, Special Forces received no order to advance and capture him and were forced to stand and watch as two Russian-made helicopters flew into the area where bin Laden was believed hiding, loaded up passengers and returned to Pakistan, demonstrates how confusing the modern battlefield can be.

That upon returning to Fort Bragg from Tora Bora, the same Special Operations troops who had been stood down from capturing bin Laden, suffered a unusual spree of murder/suicides, is nothing more than a series of senseless tragedies.

Reports that bin Laden is currently receiving periodic dialysis treatment in a Pakistani medical hospital are simply too incredible to be true.

That the White House went on Cipro September 11 shows the foresightedness of America’s emergency response.

That the anthrax was mailed to perceived liberal media and the Democratic leadership demonstrates only the perversity of the terrorist psyche.

That the anthrax attacks appeared to silence opponents of the Patriot Act shows only that appearances can be deceiving.

That the Ames-strain anthrax was found to have originated at Fort Detrick, and was beyond the capability of all but a few labs to refine, underscores the importance of allowing the investigation to continue without the distraction of absurd conspiracy theories.

That Republican guru Grover Norquist has been found to have aided financiers and supporters of Islamic terror to gain access to the Bush White House, and is a founder of the Islamic Institute, which the Treasury Department believes to be a source of funding for al Qaeda, suggests Norquist is at worst, naive, and at best, needs a wider circle of friends.

That the Department of Justice consistently chooses to see accused 9/11 plotters go free rather than permit the courtroom testimony of al Qaeda leaders in American custody looks bad, but only because we don't have all the facts.

That the White House balked at any inquiry into the events of 9/11, then starved it of funds and stonewalled it, was unfortunate, but since the commission didn't find for conspiracy it's all a non issue anyway.

That the 9/11 commission's executive director and "gatekeeper," Philip Zelikow, was so closely involved in the events under investigation that he testified before the the commission as part of the inquiry, shows only an apparent conflict of interest.

That commission chair Thomas Kean is, like George Bush, a Texas oil executive who had business dealings with reputed al Qaeda financier Khalid bin Mafouz, suggests Texas is smaller than they say it is.

That co-chair Lee Hamilton has a history as a Bush family "fixer," including clearing Bush Sr of the claims arising from the 1980 "October Surprise", is of no concern, since only conspiracists believe there was such a thing as an October Surprise.

That FBI whistleblower Sibel Edmonds accuses the agency of intentionally fudging specific pre-9/11 warnings and harboring a foreign espionage ring in its translation department, and claims she witnessed evidence of the semi-official infrastructure of money-laundering and narcotics trade behind the attacks, is of no account, since John Ashcroft has gagged her with the rare invocation of "State Secrets Privilege," and retroactively classified her public testimony. For the sake of national security, let us speak no more of her.

That, when commenting on Edmond's case, Daniel Ellsberg remarked that Ashcroft could go to prison for his part in a cover-up, suggests Ellsberg is giving comfort to the terrorists, and could, if he doesn't wise up, find himself declared an enemy combatant.

I could go on. And on and on. But I trust you get the point. Which is simply this: there are no secrets, an American government would never accept civilian casualties for geostrategic gain, and conspiracies are for the weak-minded and gullible, not to mentioned stoned.


Rumsfeld Admits 2.3 Trillion Missing on 09/10/01
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaMxaykpi5o
 

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"Seinfeld", the show has provided its viewers with a (sometimes warped) sense of how one should behave in a society, with various rules of etiquette, and with many useful tips for life in general...




"All certified mail is registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified." - Newman in "The Betrayal"



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If a guy is in a relationship with a woman in which their phone-call frequency is semi-daily, he has Tampax in his house, and their dates on Saturday night are implied, then he has himself a girlfriend. - Jerry to George in "The Virgin"



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You should break up with a person like you would remove a Band-Aid. One motion! Right off! - Jerry to George in "The Ex-Girlfriend"



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If you are engaged, you shouldn't meet with another person of the opposite sex, even for coffee. - Elaine to George in "The Cadillac"



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Both parties do not have to consent to a break-up. It's not like launching missiles from a submarine. They don't both have to turn their keys. - "The Strongbox"



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You should always keep copies of your tax papers. - "The Truth"



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Once you've read a book, you don't need it anymore. - Jerry to George in "The Ex-Girlfriend"



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Heckling a stand-up comic during his routine is not part of the act. - Jerry to Kramer's girlfriend and Elaine's co-worker Toby in "The Fire"



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If you're going to bribe a maitre d' at a restaurant for prompt seating, you must make your intentions clear to him. - "The Chinese Restaurant"



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Always write down where you parked your car in a shopping mall garage. - "The Parking Garage"



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Since one never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function, it is not wise to feed a horse Beef-A-Reeno. - "The Rye"



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Don't forget to take a number as soon as you enter a bakery. - "The Dinner Party"



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Shaking hands with someone doesn't constitute a pact with that person. - "The Engagement," etc.



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You should never park in a handicap space or a fire lane. - "The Handicap Spot"



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The talent of lip-reading should not be considered to be a novelty act. Nor should it be assumed to be flawless. - "The Lip Reader"



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Don't throw out a gift wallet before checking its contents for money. - "The Wallet"



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Always retain your movie ticket stub. - "The Movie"



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If you concoct a lie about yourself, make sure it is "up your alley." - "The Marine Biologist"



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Before sitting down in a restroom stall, make sure that there is sufficient toilet paper available. - "The Stall"



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Having an Oriental-sounding surname such as Chang doesn't necessarily mean that the person is Chinese. - "The Chinese Woman"



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If you receive a gift check from a relative, especially from an elderly one, make sure to cash it as soon as possible. - "The Pledge Drive"



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It's unclear how long you should keep a greeting card. - "The Pledge Drive"



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"The female body is a work of art; the male body is utilitarian. It's for getting around, like a Jeep." - Elaine in "The Apology"



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"Who so belongs only to his age references only poppinjays and mumbo-jumbos." - George's girlfriend Patrice in "The Truth," quoting Thomas Carlyle, i.e., Tommy C.



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If someone refers to "Cubans," make sure to determine whether he means cigars or people. - "The English Patient"



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If you are a guest at a dinner party, it is proper to bring gifts, such as cake (babka - either chocolate or cinnamon - is O.K.) and wine (beaujolais or chardonnay, for example), not Ring Dings and Pepsi - being that you are an adult. - "The Dinner Party"



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Never put a glass near the edge of a table. If you breathe and that glass falls over, then you're going to have broken glass on the carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag. Broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. You can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces. And then you think you got it all, and two years later you're walking barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill yourself. Is that what you want? I don't think you want that, is it? Do you? - The mohel to Elaine in "The Bris"



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If you give a person a gift and they repeat the name of the gift in their thank-you, then the recipient really doesn't like it. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Label Maker"



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"When you ask someone about their relationship and they touch their face you know it's not going too well. And the higher up on the face you go the worse the relationship is getting." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Wallet"



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If you order a drink without ice, you get more to drink than if you were to take it with ice. - George to Elaine's father, Alton Benes, in "The Jacket"



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"Well, there’s nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil." - George in "The Voice"



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Giving a building's super fifty bucks beats out any hard-luck story when it comes to landing an apartment. - "The Andrea Doria"



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The opposite of "good-bye" is "hello," not "bad-bye." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Bizarro Jerry"

(By the way, "bad-bye" could be considered to be the opposite of "good-bye," as Elaine believes, but since the situation is the Bizarro greeting upon arrival, the opposite of "hello" should be said, and that is "good-bye," as Jerry indicates. "Bad-bye" is the opposite of the opposite of "hello" - a double-negative, or just a different, roundabout way of saying the same thing. Got it?)



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"It's not a lie ... if you believe it." - George to Jerry in "The Beard"



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To make a radish rose, insert a knife into the center of the radish and twist. Then, to make it bloom, soak it in water for thirty to forty minutes. - Jerry to Kramer in "The Apology"



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If you've been on at least seven dates with a person, your break-up with him or her must be face-to-face - unless there was no sex between the two of you. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Alternate Side"



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Sex is considered to have taken place when the nipple makes its first appearance. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Red Dot"



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There is no such thing as a guilty bystander. - Jackie Chiles in "The Finale"



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Once you open your vault, it ceases to be a vault. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Parking Space"



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"Adjacent to refuse is refuse." - Jerry to George in "The Gymnast"



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"No matter what the deformity, you'll find some group of perverts attracted to it." - Jerry to George in "The Bris"



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Pitchers and catchers in softball don't have a special rapport as they do in hardball, where it's more involved and they have signals and everything. In softball the pitcher just lobs the ball in. Pitchers and catchers in softball don't have conferences. A catcher doesn't come out to the mound and encourage a pitcher. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Bris"



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It's statute - not statue - of limitations. - Jerry and Elaine to Kramer in "The Cafe"



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"People never give a good 'hello' at a funeral." - George to Jerry in "The Face Painter"



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If you have protected sex with someone on your parents' bed while they are away, make sure to discard the condom wrapper before they return. - "The Cigar Store Indian"



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A dentist is just a sadist with newer magazines. - Jerry to priest in "The Yada Yada"



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Hawks and squirrels don't get along together. In fact, hawks eat squirrels. - Jim Fowler to George and Kramer in "The Merv Griffin Show"



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If you have a friend lie for you, make sure to get your stories straight. - "The Cadillac"



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The old switcheroo is when you poison your drink then you switch it with the other person's. - Jerry to George in "The Burning"



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Regarding breastfeeding, after the sucking comes the weaning. First the sucking, then the weaning. - "The Bris"



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Hard as it might be to believe, some people have been known to leave a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country. - "The Pony Remark"



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Warning: Grapefruit pulp can move, baby. And if it gets in one's eye, its acidity can cause one to wink uncontrollably. - "The Wink"



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"You can't stop modern science. Can't stop it. You can't stop it. Can't stop science. Can't be stopped. No way, no how. Science just marches ..." - George to Elaine in "The Nose Job"



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When somebody yells "heads up," you're not supposed to actually look up. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Blood"



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UPDATED 2003
Jun 19
A recovering alcoholic is said to be "on the wagon" if he is abstaining from the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Conversely, he is "off the wagon" if he resumes alcoholic intake. - "The Red Dot"



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Once gorillas accept you into their society, you've got it made in the shade. - Kramer in "The Face Painter"



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You can't have a relationship where one person says, "I love you", and the other says, "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat." ... unless you're married. Nobody wants to be with somebody that loves them. You want to be with somebody that doesn't like you. - George and Jerry in "The Face Painter"



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"Good manners are the glue of society." - Kramer to Jerry in "The Face Painter"



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Break-ups take two or three tries because you have to build up your immunity. - Jerry to George in "The Postponement"



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"When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy." - George to Jerry in "The Hot Tub"



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If you're bleak, you're bleak ... even in spring. - George and Jerry in "The Finale"



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When a man goes swimming, afterwards "it" shrinks ... like a frightened turtle. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Hamptons"



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Being able to tell that someone is a virgin is not like spotting a toupee. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Virgin"



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The plural of "fungus" is not "funguses" but "fungi." - Kramer in "The Conversion"



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You can't have sex with someone you admire. Where's the depravity? - Jerry and George in "The Sponge"



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A taking person should date a giving person. If a taking person dates another taking person, everyone's taking, taking, taking. No one's giving. It's bedlam. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Sponge"



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Double-dipping a chip - dipping the chip, taking a bite of it, then dipping the chip again - is like putting your whole mouth right in the dip. When you dip a chip, you should take just one dip and end it. - Timmy, brother of George's girlfriend-of-the week, Betsy, to George in "The Implant"



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You can't overdry something. Same as you can't overwet something. Once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead. Like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and someone shoots you. You're not going to die again. You're already dead. You can't overdie; you can't overdry. - Jerry to George in "The Seinfeld Chronicles" ("Good News, Bad News")



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For your protection, do not give your secret ATM code to anyone. - George to Jerry in "The Secret Code"



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Couples are not supposed to keep secrets - like one's ATM code - from one another because it's part of their relationship. It's an indication of trust. - Susan to George in "The Secret Code"



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Everyone assumes that each member of a couple will tell the other one everything. - Susan to George in "The Sponge"



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If you are part of a couple, and people know that you tell the other one everything, no one will ever confide in you again. You'll be cut out of the loop. - George to Susan in "The Sponge"



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"It's not cheating if there's no sex." - George to Elaine in "The Cadillac"



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"Women love the snub." - Kramer in "The Shoes"



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"A throat-clear is a non-verbal implication of doubt." - George to Jerry in "The Soul Mate"



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Subtle displays of the middle finger are how waitresses express derision without getting their mouths dirty. - Jerry in "The Pledge Drive"



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Going away for a couple of days with your significant other - an inadvisable "dating decathlon," according to George - speeds up the intimacy level. It's like putting the relationship in a time compressor. Where you would be six months from now you accomplish in three days. - Jerry in "The Stock Tip"



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If a single man wears a wedding band, women will come on to him. - George in "The Apartment"



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A large sable hat just bottles in the heat - so much so that you don't even need a coat. - George in "The Chicken Roaster"



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"Coffee's coffee in the morning. It's not coffee at twelve o'clock at night." (At that time, coffee is sex.) - George in "The Phone Message"



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Coughing expels the diseased germs out of the body, into the air. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Andrea Doria"



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If all else fails, the sure-fire way to get out of a relationship is to pick your nose in the presence of your partner. - "The Pick"



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When one of those "old" guys is breathing down your neck at your office, just schedule a late meeting. They're up at 4 AM, so by 2:30 they're "wiped." - George to Elaine in "The Money"



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The original title for Tolstoy's "War and Peace" was not "War: What Is It Good For?" - "The Marine Biologist"



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Some people - Kramer, for example - would take a veterinarian over an M.D. any day to treat them, because a vet has to be able to cure a lizard, a chicken, a pig, and a frog all on the same day. - "The Andrea Doria"



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The walking date is a good date. You don't have to look right at the other person. It's the next best thing to being alone. - Elaine and Jerry in "The Nap"



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Dustin Hoffman was not in "Star Wars." And the "M" in Richard M. Nixon stands for Milhous, not Moe. - "The Calzone"



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If you are invited for dinner, you have to bring something, because it's rude if you don't. - Elaine to George in "The Dinner Party"



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Holland and the Netherlands are the same country. - Jerry to George in "The Butter Shave"



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"Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push. You've got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Voice"



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Marriage and family are prisons, man-made prisons. You're doing time. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Engagement"



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"Everyone knows the first break-up never takes." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Dog"



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Birthdays are relationship-killers. If a relationship is having any problems whatsoever, a birthday will always bring it out. - George to Jerry in "The Deal"



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"You cannot abandon people in the middle of an airport pickup. It's a binding social contract." - George to Kramer in "The Airport"



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If your lover can't find you, he/she can't break up with you. - George to Jerry in "The Susie"



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You've got the hen, the chicken, and the rooster. I know that it sound perverse, but the rooster has sex with all of them, because they're all chickens. (Even other roosters?!!!) - Mr. Ross to Frank Costanza in "The Rye"



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That stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy is tryptophan. - Jerry and George to Jerry's girlfriend Celia in "The Merv Griffin Show"



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Martin Van Buren was the eighth President of the U.S. - Kramer to Jerry and Elaine in "The Van Buren Boys"



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Eating a poppy-seed muffin might make you test positive for opium. - "The Shower Head"



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When quitting drugs cold turkey, the first twenty-four hours are the worst. - Mr. Peterman to Elaine in "The Bookstore"



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"The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 21 miles off the coast of Nantucket. 51 people died. There were 1,650 survivors." - Kramer in "The Andrea Doria"

Also: It took 10 hours for the Andrea Doria to sink.



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"Salmon swim against the current, and the tuna swim with it." - Jerry to George in "The Opposite"



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The "day" date is good: No wine or shower are necessary. - Jerry to George in "The Soup"



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If a guy goes to a funeral with the girl he is dating, he becomes the Consolation Guy. Being the Consolation Guy is big. It's like ten dates in one shot. It confers upon him instant boyfriend status. - Jerry and Kramer to George in "The Implant"



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"Once you make out with a woman, you can't ask her her name." - Jerry to George in "The Junior Mint"



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A Junior Mint: It's chocolate, it's peppermint ... it's delicious. It's very refreshing. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Junior Mint"



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The word "buoyed" - as in "buoyed his spirits" - is pronounced "BOO-eed," not "BOYD." - Mr. Lippman to Elaine in "The Letter"



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"The walking date is a good date. You don't have to look right at the other person." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Nap"



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"Häagen-Dazs is made up. It's not Danish." - "Jerry" Jerry to "Jerry" Kramer in "The Pilot"



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Really good looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else. The better looking they are, the faster they go. Out there on the street, they're zooming around, like a blur ... like they have a motor on their ass. - George to Elaine in "The Handicap Spot"



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Countries exchange gifts if they like each other. For example, France gave us the Statue of Liberty. - Jerry to George in "The Red Dot"



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It's very significant if a guy wipes his hand on the top of the bottle when a girl offers him water. If he were interested in her, he'd want her germs. He'd just crave her germs. The bottle-wipe is big. It even supercedes an open-lipped kiss from the guy. - Elaine and Jerry to George in "The Wife"



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Paella is a Spanish dish. It's a melange of fish and meat with rice. Very tasty. - George to Jerry in "The Raincoats"



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With crutches everyone has questions, but not with a cane. With crutches it's a funny story; with a cane it's a sad story. - George to Jerry in "The Butter Shave"



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Word-association tests are great. There's no wrong answer. - Jerry to George in "The Truth"



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"A rule is a rule. And let's face it. Without rules there's chaos." - Kramer to Elaine in "The Big Salad"



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"People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public. It's embarrassing for them. It's painful for us to watch." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Big Salad"



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"What is the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?" - Jerry to Elaine in "The Couch"



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If a guy asks a woman out with "Would you like to go for a walk?" it's not a date. If he asks her, "Would you like to go for a walk or something?" it's a date. - Jerry to George in "The Soup"



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To determine whether a particular order of soup is a meal, consider the following: If the soup is consommé, then it's not really a meal. If the soup is chicken gumbo or matzoh ball or mushroom barley, then it is a meal. If the soup is in a bowl and crackers are crumbled in it - as opposed to it being in a cup and no crackers being crumbled in it - then it could be a meal. - Jerry and Elaine in "The Soup"



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To get someone else fired, you've got to apply the same principles that get yourself fired, but redirected outwardly. - Jerry to George in "The Soup"



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Let's say that a man has a bad relationship with a waitress from an eatery which he has frequented. If he has been going to that eatery a lot longer than she has been working there - for example, his seven years to her three weeks - then it's not fair that he be forced to leave that place. If anyone should be forced to leave that place it should be her, because she's on his turf. - Jerry and George in "The Soup"



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The word "anathema" means "not liked." Example: "Students can’t clean. It’s anathema." - George to Jerry in "The Statue"



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The way Texans - Just Houstonians? Just males? - talk, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. - George to Jerry (and, inadvertently, marathon runner Jean-Paul Jean-Paul) in "The Hot Tub"



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"Beautiful women. You know, they could get away with murder. You never see any of them lift anything over three pounds. They get whatever they want whenever they want it. You can't stop them." - George to Jerry in "The Calzone"



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"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it, and then you look away." - Jerry to George in "The Shoes"



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"Everyone knows the first break-up never takes." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Dog"



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"I don't know anything" means there's something to know. If you really don't know anything you would say, 'You're crazy.'" - Elaine to Pendant Publishing secretary in "The Library"



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A doctor should be able to say "get outta here." It should be part of the training at medical school: "Cancer? Get outta here! Go home! What are you crazy? It's a little test. It's nothing. You're a real nut. You know that?" - George to Jerry in "The Pilot"



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If a couple breaks up and have plans to go to a neutral place, it's not clear who should withdraw. One point of view is that the breaker should withdraw, since the breakee needs to get on with his life. An opposing opinion is that the breakee should withdraw because the breaker is the victor, and, as the saying goes, to the victor belong the spoils. - Jerry and Elaine to George in "The Lip Reader"



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You can be young and bitter. - Cynthia to Elaine in "The Fix-Up"



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The reason why all these people are having babies is perpetuation of the species. - Jerry to George in "The Soul Mate"



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"No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable." - Jackie Chiles to Kramer in "The Maestro"



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Cats run away all the time, but they can show up years later. They have "things" in their brains where they remember where they're from ... unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding them. - Kramer to Antonio, a busboy in "The Busboy"



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There is no coma etiquette. You see, that’s the beauty of the coma, man. It doesn’t matter what you do around it. So a coma victim's girl, his car, his clothes are all up for grabs. You can just loot the coma victim. If he can’t get out of it in 24 hours, it’s a land rush. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Suicide"



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Moisture ruins leather - in particular, suede. - "The Jacket"



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The glitterati are people who glitter. - Kramer to George in "The Switch"



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There is doubt whether there are no small coincidences and big coincidences - only coincidences - or whether there are degrees of coincidences. - "The Statue"



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"You can't have a little grace. You either have grace or you don't. And you can't acquire grace. Grace isn't something you can pick up at the market." - Doubleday executive Ms. Landis to interviewee Elaine in "The Chaperone"



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Bras have different cup sizes. You got the A, the B, the C, and the D. D is the biggest. - Frank Costanza to George in "The Sniffing Accountant"



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If a person breaks up with someone, then the breaker's friends can't see the breakee anymore either. It's break-up by association. - George to Jerry in "The Deal"



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Vomiting, that is, being thrown up on, is not a deal-breaker. - Jerry to George in "The Pitch"



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The easiest way to get out of a relationship with somebody is to tell that person you're seeing somebody else. - George to Elaine in "The Wallet"



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"You know, a muffin can be very filling." - George to Jerry in "The Ticket"



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Only about 4 to 6 percent of people are good-looking. It's a twenty-to-one shot. 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable. Those people are getting together because of alcohol. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Wink"



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A chow fun is a broad noodle. - George to Kramer in "The Virgin"



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If a guy doesn't ask a girl out he doesn't get rejected. But he can get a date with her by using a dating loophole - for example, making a bet with her that he knows he is going to lose, in which the loser has to buy dinner. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Calzone"



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"Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich." - Jerry to George in "The Blood"



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The second button of a shirt is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. It shouldn't be too high, that is, in "no-man's land." - Jerry to George in "Good News, Bad News" and "The Finale"



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Marriage and family are prisons, man-made prisons. You're doing time. - Kramer to Jerry in "The Engagement"



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"'Primavera' is Italian for 'spring.'" - Jerry to George in "The Shoes"



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Even if you have had your tonsils taken out, they can grow back. - Doctor to George in "The Heart Attack"



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A party is a bad date situation. It doesn't matter who you're with. You don't want to sit and talk with your date all night. You want to circulate. - Jerry to George in "The Lip Reader"



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Even though a party is a bad date situation, you must take your date to a party if the person who is throwing the party introduced the two of you. You're obligated. - George to Jerry in "The Lip Reader"



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"You don't want to go out with a dentist. He'll always be criticizing your brushing technique. It'll drive you crazy." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Mom & Pop Store"



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If you give someone some food in a Tupperware container, the recipient should return the container. Besides, you shouldn't have to say something. With a piece of Tupperware you just assume that the container would be returned. - Kramer to homeless guy in "The Beard"



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"Everyone gets along great when there's no possibility of sex." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Beard"



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Giving someone a ticket to a big, out-of-town sporting event such as the Super Bowl without paying that person's hotel accommodations and airfare is like giving that person a bill for those services. - George to Jerry in "The Label Maker"



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Anyone sweaty who comes into your house - for example, a delivery man - has to be offered a drink. - "The Couch"



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If there's any doubt about getting a follow-up date with a person, just do a "leave-behind" - leave behind some item (keys, glove, scarf, whatever) at their place. When you go back to their place to pick it up, that's another date. - Tactic of George in "The Chicken Roaster"



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If you get your significant other fired, you can't break up with that person right away. That person's life is shattered. You have to be there for that person, and at least wait until that person gets another job. - Jerry to George in "The Virgin"



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You could eat at a place where you've been before and have had good food, or you could go someplace else. It has its pros and cons. On the one hand, in the first place you're guaranteed a great meal - it would be good, but it would be the same. But if you go someplace else, it would be different, but it might not be as good. It's a gamble. - Jerry and Kenny Bania in "The Secretary"



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A nipple is a little round circular protuberance. Everybody's got them. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Pick"



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Contrary to what some believe, not everything goes with naked. There's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad. - Jerry to George in "The Apology"



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Make-up sex is the best feature of the heavy relationship. - Jerry to George in "The Postponement"



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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. - Jerry to mother-to-be and former performance artist Leslie in "The Baby Shower"



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"You don't consider age in the face of cleavage. This occurs on a molecular level. You can't control it. We're [men are] like some kind of weird fish where the eyes operate independently of the head." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Shoes"



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Little people can have not-little-people children, and vice versa. - Jerry and Kramer in "The Yada Yada"



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If a man ever wants to have kids he shouldn't wear briefs. Boxers shorts are much better for his sperm count. - Elaine to Kramer in "The Chinese Woman"



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When speaking or when listening, how one emphasizes particular words within a sentence is very important in the interpretation of the sentence's meaning. For example, "Why would Jerry bring anything?" as opposed to "Why would Jerry bring anything?" (Jerry to Elaine in "The Mom & Pop Store") Or even, "Why would Jerry bring anything?" As another example, consider "They fooled me, Jerry!" and "They fooled me, Jerry!". (George to Tom Pepper, TV Kramer in "The Pilot")



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"Sic semper tyrannus" is Latin for "Death to tyrants." It's what John Wilkes Booth yelled out when he shot Lincoln. - Jerry to George in "The Pilot"



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You can't tell someone how you feel about their girlfriend until after they stop seeing them. - Jerry to Elaine in "The Dog"



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"Everyone knows the first break-up never takes." - Jerry to Elaine in "The Dog"



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"Just saying 'beg' doesn't make it a real beg." - Jerry to Kramer in "The Parking Space"
 
a freakin UFO drops through a worm hole and is caught on tape and your worried about the music in the background???:eek:



:biggrin:
LOL:biggrin:
 
a freakin UFO drops through a worm hole and is caught on tape and your worried about the music in the background???:eek:



:biggrin:

Hi

I was shocked too, but I figured that he can't be serious and that's why I responded like I did.

Or it may be true I am trying to save face now as I understand how bad this is :biggrin: :biggrin:

Wow a freakin UFO :eek: :biggrin:

Regards
 
Gimme a break. They told me to ask what music was in that video and relay the info to them.
 
Gimme a break. They told me to ask what music was in that video and relay the info to them.


Hi

We are giving you a break. Just think about it if we really ment it :biggrin: :wink:

Regarding the music. Peril is on my Ipod now :smile:

Regards
 
Hi

We are giving you a break. Just think about it if we really ment it :biggrin: :wink:

Regarding the music. Peril is on my Ipod now :smile:

Regards

you mean...?!!??? Are you with THEM??? One of THEM??!!
Freakin', I KNEW IT!!!!!!
I freakin' KNEW it, hot DANG!

Um, say, I gave you guys the name of the music and all, so you shouldn't have stole' my cow! I mean, do you know how much cows cost these days? Huh?
Can you give my cow back to me. please.
Friends, ok?
 
you mean...?!!??? Are you with THEM??? One of THEM??!!
Freakin', I KNEW IT!!!!!!
I freakin' KNEW it, hot DANG!

Um, say, I gave you guys the name of the music and all, so you shouldn't have stole' my cow! I mean, do you know how much cows cost these days? Huh?
Can you give my cow back to me. please.
Friends, ok?

Hi

Sorry for my late reply. I was busy parking my black helicopter. It may or may not be related to your cow incident. :smile:

I am not only with them I am one of them. And you should not worry about who we are.

Friends? Well all I can say now is that since you are cowless now you are a lot safer. Well that is what I have heard anyway :smile:

I guess we could be friends as my Ipod is happy it got a new tune. It is from Halo 2(the game).

Regards
 
Hi

Sorry for my late reply. I was busy parking my black helicopter. It may or may not be related to your cow incident. :smile:

I am not only with them I am one of them. And you should not worry about who we are.

Friends? Well all I can say now is that since you are cowless now you are a lot safer. Well that is what I have heard anyway :smile:

I guess we could be friends as my Ipod is happy it got a new tune. It is from Halo 2(the game).

Regards


ah ha, now I get it....Martin is short for Martian:biggrin:
 
ROSWELL WAS NO ACCIDENT

Scientists at the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) know that a radio message from intelligent life out in space would have to use redundant universal mathematical constants.

When the latitude of the Roswell UFO impact site 33° north, is multiplied by the universal mathematical constant PI, (3.1415926572...) the result is 104°, the longitude of the impact site.

1947=19.47° or "19.5" is a universal number signifying the meeting of a tetrahedron with a sphere.

Earth is 21,600 nautical miles around.

6,480 is exactly 1/4th of the total 25,920 years it takes earth to complete one circuit through the signs of the zodiac.

Relationship between 21,600, 6,480 is 33.33.

21,600 is divided by 33.33 the number 6,480 appears in a variation: 21,600 / 33.33 = 648.06480648064...

648.06480648064..divided by 19.47, the number suggested by the year of the Roswell crash itself (1947)...produces a modification of 33.33

July 1947 and March 2012 there are 64.80 years.

Roswell crash on the 4th of July 1947. America itself was founded on the same date in 1776.

888 is the sum of the letters in Greek of the name Jesus (each Greek letter represents a number). A second "messiah" (888) plus the first messiah (888) = 1776.

The average number of days in a year for a century is 364.864 (this is slightly less than 365 because it includes leap years that have an extra day) This number can be found by dividing the quarter of precession 6,480 with the founding year of America 1776 by moving the decimal point two spaces to the left.

6,480 / 17.76 = 364.864648

1776 is therefore related to the latitude and year of the Roswell event:

364.864648 x 1776 = 648,000 / 33.28 (Roswell event latitude) = 19,470

The Roswell event longitude is also related to America's birth year 1776:

1776 / 17.076 = 104.0056, (the exact longitude of Roswell crash site is 104.56)

Mt. Hermon located at 33.33N/33.33E

33.33 degrees of earth=2012 nautical miles (actually 2012.9)


212-010705-1343-6-3d-01-CraterIce_H.jpg
 
Hi

Sorry for my late reply. I was busy parking my black helicopter. It may or may not be related to your cow incident. :smile:

I am not only with them I am one of them. And you should not worry about who we are.

Friends? Well all I can say now is that since you are cowless now you are a lot safer. Well that is what I have heard anyway :smile:

I guess we could be friends as my Ipod is happy it got a new tune. It is from Halo 2(the game).

Regards

Thanks Martian. But the other alien, Klayton, clued me in on what that song was. I guess he is your leader or something, he knows those things too.

And about Betsy, I miss her.

And what is an Ipod? Part of your intergalactic space ship?
 
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