- Joined
- 1 September 2001
- Messages
- 4,123
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- Thread starter bangbang001
- Start date
- Joined
- 1 September 2001
- Messages
- 4,123
- Joined
- 1 September 2001
- Messages
- 4,123
- Joined
- 1 September 2001
- Messages
- 4,123
NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room
giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that
there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They
tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her
husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds,
maybe a little 'oral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the
coma.'
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the
curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's
room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart
rate.
The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure... maybe she choked.
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room
giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that
there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They
tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her
husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds,
maybe a little 'oral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the
coma.'
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the
curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's
room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart
rate.
The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure... maybe she choked.
LOLF!!!!
Three married couples celebrated their anniversaries in the same hotel.
They all had dinner and drinks together and at the end of the night every couple went to their room. In the morning, the men come together for breakfast - one with a black eye, one with a broken arm and one with broken legs.
They ask the first guy what happened, he says:
- "Don't ask guys.... We get to the room, started making out, and we got it on for a good hour or so.... Afterwards, just out of habit, I hand her a $100. She got so pissed, she reached for the ashtray and hit me square in the eye!"
The second guy:
- "Same thing man, we got to the room, got it on and just out of habit I handed her a $100 bill.... But she then gave me a $50 back. I got really pissed and went to hit her but she ducked so I hit the wall and broke my hand!"
Third guy:
- "I got it the worst guys. We were in middle of having sex when someone knocked on the room door, and my wife screams "Oh my God, my husband", and me, like an idiot, I jumped right out the window!!"
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Oh that's a good one
I wish I could remember these to tell at a get together. I am horrible at remembering jokes.
My new doctor told me I have to stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
Google street view truck hits a deer:
