GENERAL GRIEVOUS
Sure, he carried four lightsabers, but does having lots of pockets make you a force to be reckoned with? Factor in his stupid chicken walk, a head modelled on a detergent nozzle and an inexplicable chesty cough and he’s hardly the stuff of legend.
NUCLEAR MAN
Admittedly he was born in the most awesome way possible – by a nuclear explosion on the surface of the sun – but an attraction to simple Earth girl Lacy Warfield rendered him an impotent foe; you never caught General Zod making a booty call or Lex Luthor texting one of his bitches.
THE GREEN GOBLIN
With that ghoulish visage hidden behind a cheap-looking Halloween mask, the Goblin is reduced to cackling maniacally, failing to kill his arch-enemy and flying around on his posh little glider, which is kind of like an even more useless Segway.
M. BISON
In digital form, M. Bison is as hard as balls – when he’s not setting himself on fire, he’s stomping your ass into the ground and making you curse your fat sausage fingers to hell. In the flesh, Bison is a less formidable enemy.
TOAD in X-MEN
Flick through the pages of any Marvel comic book and you’ll likely stumble on any number of great villains, all with incredible powers, sinister motives, evil costumes and outlandish names. It’s quite baffling, then, why Bryan Singer thought plain old Toad was a suitable candidate for an appearance in the X-Men movie. His special powers? Being a toad.
THE ARCHITECT in The Matrix
Keanu wasn’t the only one who got bored listening to the Architect’s cod-philosophy: how many of you thought Reloaded would have been improved if Neo stopped listening to his pseudo-intellectual bullshit and simply kicked seven shades of shit out of his geriatric ass in bullet-time?
MR. FREEZE
More likely to kill you with his god-awful puns than any real villainy (“Ice to see you!”), Freeze also loses valuable evil points by trying to save his sick wife; no villain worth his salt would ever walk down the aisle.
SAURON
Such an epic story deserves an epic villain, but instead of an all-powerful, shit-kicking overlord, the citizens of Middle-Earth lived in fear of what basically amounted to a pissed off lighthouse.