uNdeRSTanding ENgINEers.. funny
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Yeah so you guys have probably already seen this but it's still funny, specially if you know any:
************************************************** ***********
Two engineering students were crossing the campus
when one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike." She threw
the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes
and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting
one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We
must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens
keeper.
Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of
us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a
group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will
say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if
there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical
Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil
Engineers build targets.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human
body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time
with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they
will each assume you are spending time with the other
woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work
done."
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a
frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn
me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm beautiful princess, and that I'll
stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
don't have time for a girl, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
__________________________________________________
Credit goes to Tiffany Chin for this post.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah so you guys have probably already seen this but it's still funny, specially if you know any:
************************************************** ***********
Two engineering students were crossing the campus
when one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike." She threw
the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes
and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting
one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We
must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens
keeper.
Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of
us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a
group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will
say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if
there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical
Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil
Engineers build targets.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human
body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time
with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they
will each assume you are spending time with the other
woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work
done."
************************************************** ************
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a
frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn
me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm beautiful princess, and that I'll
stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
don't have time for a girl, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
__________________________________________________
Credit goes to Tiffany Chin for this post.
... if there is such a thing :biggrin: ... which I'm told there isn't. :frown:
