Relative Wants To Borrow Money: Using Camry as Security

I do business w/ friends and family on a regular basis, but your situation isn't business. This is a situation where you will get screwed big time! Your ex-girlfriends aunt should go to HER FAMILY for help, not you.

You better be ready to lose that $2K in addtion to the Camry. If she can't pay the house note, she soon won't be able to pay the car note. End result = you lose.

What's your motiviation for helping? You sound like a nice guy, but why is your ex's aunt so important to you?
 
I agree with most people here that it's never a good idea to loan friends and family money. That being said, I know it's a lot easier said than done.

My advice is to loan her the money and kiss that money goodbye. If she pays you back in a reasonable time that you set, then great, this will bring you two one step closer together. If she doesn't pay you back, then cut her off from your life forever and move on in your life without her. Consider it a $2,000 lesson, experiment or test of honor. Just be sure to tell her beforehand you expectations and the consequences of her actions.
 
Making personal loans in this fashion can only be looked at consistently in one way-if you are willing to loan the money to them period, you simply hope they return the money to you as they say they will. Any other way and you will end up a net loser, either financially or often more importantly, emotionally.

2 grand is a lot of money and not very much money at the same time. I've had several friends borrow money from me to make their rent during hard times etc. Bottom line I consider it a gift for a friend in need, if they pay me back great, if not no hard feelings.

Just the fact you are charging interest is not a good sign here.
 
it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that

3400 per month on her current 1 house
350 per month for her car
3750 per month debt and she brings in 3000-4000 per month......

even still 2900 per monthplus 350=3250 per month and if she brings in 3-4000 how can she afford that especialy with gas approaching 4 dollars per gallon, food for her and two kids, and the rest of the expenses?


how in the hell did she have another property?


like others said if you want to actualy help her you need to help her get out of her house and rent/maybe get a cheaper house with payments she can actualy afford
 
flaminio said:
If a close relative asked for $2000 to save her house, I'd just loan her the money no strings attached.

If the relative wasn't so close, I wouldn't loan the money at all.

It's appalling to me the amount of interest you're charging, and the draconian methods you're planning to ensure payment, all for a measly two grand.
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+++111 - I agree 100%; either loan her the 2 grand or not. Don't screw her when she is down.
 
steveny said:
sometimes it is really painful to watch hough.
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agreed.
(i returned in <1 minute to add the following)

based on my own slow-learning behavior, quite some time ago i realized that people will often continue specific behavior / actions until the pain becomes so great that they have to change or else suffer significantly greater consequences.

it's the change that leads to a better future & life.
 
My brother no longer speaks to anyone in our family because of this exact kind of situation...and we even "lended" him the money. Need I tell you my opinion???
 
If her car is worth what you say she should have no problem refinancing it an adding 2 grand to her note. This way everyone wins.
 
ANYTIME said:
How about taking that 2K and putting down a deposit on an affordable rental for her to move in? That would be helping her.......
<s>Lending</s> giving her 2K is prolonging the inevitable, and that is her losing the house she is in. If she applies for a rental at that point, she most likely will get denied and what then?
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Good advice.

Update?
 
BillyIdol said:
She is getting a readjustment on her loan. Right now, she is at $3400 a month. The readjust will knock off $500 a month. She takes home $3000-4000 a month plus her car payment is $350/month. She had 2 properties. She already lost one to foreclosure. I told her, hey, you can't afford this house ($3400 a month one). What is the diff between losing 1 or 2 houses? House she is in now is worth 393k and the loan is 400k. She is a single mother with 2 children in the house. I told her that her credit is already screwed, so why not just rent something for $1200-1500. I mean, why stress your life out? I think she needs to go back to school to become an RN. It is amazing how some people run their financial lives in total chaos. Me? I've always been good with money. To me, it is just math, observation, and asking questions. I guess you have to be sort of smart to acquire an NSX? Right? Can I get an Amen? Gosh, I'm tired!! I hope she doesn't lose her house, and that she is blessed in everything she does. Did everyone have a good Easter?

John
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You got it... AMEN!!! :cool:
 
Ditto.

If you care for her, give here the money and forget about it. If you get it back later, great. Don't expect it back, but who knows.

If you try to see it as a business transaction, you'll lose. A "pink slip" won't do you anything - as I found out personally from a bad tenant - :rolleyes:

She needs to transfer title into your full name. Not just sign somethign, take it to the dol and put it in your name (and thus pay taxes or gift it, depending on your state ..) Remember, she doesn't have title! (the bank does..)
 
Just to answer a few questions:

How is my exwife's aunt my relative? Well, over our 9 year marriage to Abby (exwife), I ended up being a major father figure for my nephew (Harold). He never had a father. So, I was the substitute. I was always firm in my beliefs and I was trying to instill in him morals and values. At the time, he didn't like it. But over time, he respected my firm structure and convictions with him. I never let him read Maxim or FHM, and he respects me for that. I only saw him about every 2 weeks. About 2 years ago, he enlisted for the Marines. I attended his bootcamp graduation. So, Lorena (exwife's aunt) is Harold's mom. Her son really likes me and respects me. Lorena bought Harold the Lancer, and when he enlisted in the Marines, he just left it. So, I was trying to sell the car for Lorena. The first time I took him out in the NSX, he was so excited, but I told him "Look, you don't get a car like this by being irresponsible and throwing your money away. Go get an education, be careful how you spend your money, get a good job or start a business, and maybe you too can have a car like this or whatever you want. Don't manage your money like your mom did! Read books about money to learn about money. (I'm a public school teacher. I'm big on reading books.)"

Is she hot? Yes, she is. The "hotness" gene runs in that family, but so does the "out of control spending" gene. As I like to say, there is a whole lot more to relationships than good looks.

John

more later
 
BillyIdol said:
Just to answer a few questions:

How is my exwife's aunt my relative? Well, over our 9 year marriage to Abby (exwife), I ended up being a major father figure for my nephew (Harold). He never had a father. So, I was the substitute. I was always firm in my beliefs and I was trying to instill in him morals and values. At the time, he didn't like it. But over time, he respected my firm structure and convictions with him. I never let him read Maxim or FHM, and he respects me for that. I only saw him about every 2 weeks. About 2 years ago, he enlisted for the Marines. I attended his bootcamp graduation. So, Lorena (exwife's aunt) is Harold's mom. Her son really likes me and respects me. Lorena bought Harold the Lancer, and when he enlisted in the Marines, he just left it. So, I was trying to sell the car for Lorena. The first time I took him out in the NSX, he was so excited, but I told him "Look, you don't get a car like this by being irresponsible and throwing your money away. Go get an education, be careful how you spend your money, get a good job or start a business, and maybe you too can have a car like this or whatever you want. Don't manage your money like your mom did! Read books about money to learn about money. (I'm a public school teacher. I'm big on reading books.)"

Is she hot? Yes, she is. The "hotness" gene runs in that family, but so does the "out of control spending" gene. As I like to say, there is a whole lot more to relationships than good looks.

John

more later
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Man this is one of those situations where I would love to be able to reply with voice. I mean this as a total joke with a big smile but man...you were hitting that weren't you. :wink: :biggrin:

Btw it is impossible for the hotness gene to be present without the out of control spending gene coupled to it, unless of course the totally nuts gene is present. In fact 90% of the cases I have studied all three genes were present. It's like red hair and freckles.
 
steveny said:
It's like red hair and freckles.
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Anytime. Is this true?

My brother and his wife have decied to sell their house in south orange county and move into a more affordable rental. Sad thing is, they have spent all the equity in their house (~$300k) have zero cash on hand to pay the bills. My brother is in high end real estate in Corona Del Mar, Newport Beach, and they made several hundred k last year, plus amost $50k in inheritance from my late aunt. Pissed it all away. His wife has a problem, can't spend within her means. My brother has finally thrown in the towel with that and will be working to divorce and start over. Between my folks and I we've lent them over $100k that because the equity in the house is spent, we may never see the money. Some of that I can handle, I don't miss the money, but its never been viewed as a gift.

We always want to help our family and friends, but help is one thing, enabling is another thing.

Miner
 
That ashley dupree girl could pay your aunt mortgage for 2 month with a mere hours work.

At this point it's...PICS OR BAN!!!!
 
WTF!? The lady is in a dire situation my friend.
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No offence intended, my friend. The reason I asked was not to imply that the OP wanted to get with her. But you must realize that some ladies manage to melt our hearts and cause us to consider doing things we might not ordinarily do.
I can admit without regret that that dynamic has cost me a few bucks over the years.
 
gdae said:
No offence intended, my friend. The reason I asked was not to imply that the OP wanted to get with her. But you must realize that some ladies manage to melt our hearts and cause us to consider doing things we might not ordinarily do.
I can admit without regret that that dynamic has cost me a few bucks over the years.
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LOL, it's still costing you, hehe.:biggrin:
 
davidf said:
LOL, it's still costing you, hehe.:biggrin:
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You can say that again. I could be installing a nice new exhaust right now ... instead, looks like I'm going for the Gucci handbag. My girl's BD is coming up soon, don't ya know!:redface:

And back on topic: OP, if you feel like enabling that's up to you. But if you never see that money again, don't be surprised, and don't let a measly 2K drive a wedge between you two. Life's too short for that BS.
 

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