After 3 installments ranging from somewhat amusing to downright awful, this franchise is ALIVE. I almost suspect that they purposely lowered my expectations with the previous three films in order to blow me away here. Now this new movie isn't perfect, but goddamn if they didn't try hard to please their fans.
Clearly we have left the street racing roots of the franchise behind almost completely for a hybrid of Bad Boys and Oceans 1x movie. To be honest, on paper this sounded so horrible that I was terrified of laying down my hard earned money for fear that this would be a disappointment in league with 2 and 4. Instead we got something that actually felt a little special.
Amazingly, we have finally found someone who can stand toe to toe with Vin Diesel on screen. The Rock has the charisma and physical presence to provide some balance, plus he brings his trademark humor to the role. Despite a series of starring roles and bit parts, this guy has never really had a role that allowed him to embrace both his dramatic and comic sides without the entire film resting on his shoulders. He is IMPOSSIBLY big, IMPOSSIBLY mean, and with that sick goatee, we know he means nothing but business. Setting him against our beloved heroes is so scary that when the inevitable happens and he is forced to join sides with them, we get a spine-tingling manly forearm-grasp scene that is superior to any man-touching scene since the Predator handshake.
Equally delightful is the return of Vince. Looking back, this guy was the catalyst for almost everything great that happened in the first movie. I had no idea he would be making an appearance, and I nearly pissed myself with happiness when he showed up. His so mean and scruffy that we always know he's gonna cause trouble, and he doesn't disappoint. But we also know just as certainly that he has a heart of gold, and that we can't stay mad at him forever.
The return of our ebony pals from Miami was actually more welcome than I thought it would be. Their banter is sharper than I remember, and with the superior cast in this movie, they are able to fit their roles perfectly.
Timeline fudging aside, I enjoyed seeing Han again, and hopefully they will find a way to keep him in future installments. These movies desperately need an asian character to stay true to their roots and suave and handsome Han fits the bill perfectly.
One way this movie exceeds even the original is the amount of hot ass present throughout the film. On the negative side, Mia murders every scene she is in. She has to be the most vanilla piece of ass ever. Luckily, we have plenty of hotter and more interesting chicks in the movie. WAY hotter. Plus the mid-credits stinger cameo of one of the hottest pieces of ass in hollywood. I can only pray that we get to see HER paired with the Rock extensively in the next movie.
Our heroes Bryan and Dom are the same as they ever were. Bryan is still the empty headed character seemingly swept along by fate. He is our avatar in the film and reminds me more than anything of the main character of Grand Theft Auto 3. Sure he actually talks, but the things he says are of such little gravity that he might as well be mute. Really though, it doesn't matter - he's just there to be our nominal protagonist. On the other hand, Torretto is Torretto. Dom gives us everything we want and 50% more. They've managed to keep his soul intact throughout all these movies, and we are constantly reminded WHY these people love him so much. He is all about the his familia. This is drilled into our heads over and over. This monster of a man, this paragon of testosterone is driven by his surprisingly soft creamy center of love for his peeps. We can respect that. If we were cops, we would totally let him go too.
Finally, some miscellaneous observations.
1. We've got enough dodgy physics problems in this movie to cover half a season of Mythbusters. Somebody make this happen.
2. Practical effects and stunts! The big budget (mostly) non-cg action movie still lives!
3. Thanks for NOT showing us that one street race where he wins the Porsche. This lets you get away with the tremendously silly cop car drag race and the overly long vault chase without having the audience already completely desensitized to car action.
4. This movie now has the honor of having my favorite cameo appearance of all time. At the climax of the movie when we finally see our legendary old friend NOS again, it almost brings tears to your eyes. NOS, you magnificent bastard.