A police officer pulled me over tonight

Joined
8 May 2002
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In a Iglo
A police officer pulled me over tonight the officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

I said, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her Vouge magazine my wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, I looked over at my wife and growled, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

My wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, I glower at his wife and said through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

My wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat! belt when you're driving."

And as the police ! officer is writing out the third ticket the
I turned to my wife and barked, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE... SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at my wife and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?

My wife replies............................

"Only when he's been drinking." :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:










JK........Funny.......... joke ha ha!
 
An Amish family goes to a shopping mall for the first time and they start walking around.

The father and son see a old lady in this wheel chair waiting by these two silver doors.

They go over and ask her what she is waiting for ?

The Old Lady replies " I am waiting for the elevator to come "

The son asks the father " Whats an elevator? "

The Father replies " I dont know son "

Moments later the father and son watch the two silver doors open and the old lady wheel herself in and then the doors close.

The father and son look at each other puzzled

A minute or two go by and the doors open again and out walks a sexy college girl.

The father turns to the son and says

" Quickly go and fetch your mother !! "
 
Both good ones!! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
 
I hope divorce is an option in Canada. :biggrin:
 
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