Think about this....

[MYNSX]

ETERNAL TRUTHS:

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
We cannot change the direction of the wind...but we can adjust our sails.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk by you again?

If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.
If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.



------------------

 

[Zanardi 50]

Well said. I will take these "truths" to heart.

 

[MAJOR STONER]

Why ask?


1.Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?


2.Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?


3.Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?


4.Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?


5.Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?


6.Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?


7.Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


8.How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?


9.If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?


10.If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?


11.If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?


12.If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?


13.If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?


14.You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?


15.Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?


16.Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?


17.Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?


18.You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?


19.Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

 

[Zanardi 50]

 

[steveny]

Major stoner,
I need help with this one please explain.
12.If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
Have you attempted this?

 

[MAJOR STONER]

They actually had a group of "scientists" do a study as to why toast falls to the floor with the buttered side down, most of the time. Reason-the buttered side is heavier. As you know, a cat always lands on it's feet. Unless it has a top heavy piece of buttered toast strapped to it's back, causing it to spiral out of control. haha...ha

"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."

"Unethical is only two letters away from being ethical."

 

[steveny]

I was told at a young age that cats always land on there feet. I never heard anything about the buttered toast. I did test the family cats to prove this. I dropped him while standing on the clothes dryer. He did land on his feet. I also tested the neighbors cat from about the same height. this cat did not land on his feet. I felt extremely bad about that. I contribute my findings to the fact that cat number two had no tail to correct or control its fall.