The Worlds Funniest Joke

[NetViper]

Well, the results are in.. and here it is.

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

However, this was my personal fav..

A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”

hah

You can read more at : http://www.laughlab.co.uk

 

[Joel]

Ooh, I got one!

A man was walking down the street and noticed a sign reading: Hans Schmidt's Chinese Laundry

Being of a curious nature, he entered and was greeted by an obviously Oriental man who identified himself as Hans Schmidt.

"How come you have a name like that?" inquired the stranger.

The Oriental explained in very broken English that when he landed in America he was standing in the immigration line behind a German. When asked his name, the German replied, "Hans Schmidt."

When the immigration official asked the Oriental his name, he replied,
"SAM TING."

[This message has been edited by Joel (edited 04 October 2002).]

 

[SilverOne]

my contribution...,

Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him.

HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.

WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life.

HOLMES: Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent.

 

[I Grok NSX]

There's a ship wreck and the only survivors are a beautiful woman and 4 guys. The 5 survivors end up on a remote, uncharted island in the middle of the pacific ocean.

On the island, the survivors find plenty of wood to build a hut, fresh water for drinking and bathing, and food. The setup camp and prepare for a long stay.

After a month, all is going well; however, the men are getting pretty frisky. So the men decide to approach the woman and present a proposition of a rotating schedule of "private time" with her. They figured they had nothing to loose and all she could do was say no.

Well, the woman was very happy they approached with the plan. After all, she was a healthy woman who had needs too. So here they all are, living in paradise - fresh water, good food, living on beach front property, not working, and satisfying their sexual needs.

Five years later, the woman dies of natural causes.

After the first week, they guys are doing okay, but not a good as when she was alive of course.

After the second week, things are starting to go bad for the guys.

After the third week, things are getting much worse.

After the forth week, things are almost impossible for the guys.

After the fifth week, the guys decided to finally bury her!

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1994 Green-black roof/tan, 5 speed
Do you know of another Green-Black roof NSX??

 

[NeoNSX]

Litesokneecough: *lol* that is sick...

Here's a short car related joke:

Did you hear about the NSX car racer who had a dog with no legs?

Every night he'd take it for a drag around the park...

*lol*

 

[Dr.Honda]

Ok, 3 dogs in the pound:
Beagle to the Boxer: What are you in for?
Boxer: for years that mailman taunted me, finally the leash broke and I bit that SOB in the ass, they're putting me down on Tuesday.
Great dane to Beagle: What are you in for?
Beagle: I pissed on the old lady's rug. How was I to know it was a $10,000 persian? I get the injection next week.
Both to the Great Dane: What's your story? Great Dane:
W ell my master is unbelievably hot. I was just lying there on the bathroom floor when she came in to take a bath. She proceeds to get naked and is bent over adjusting the water. Well, I just couldn't stand it and I mounted her from behind!
Beagle: Whoa, Dude you are in some serious trouble! When are they putting you down?
Great Dane (laughs): I'm just getting my nails trimmed!

 

[Joel]

Hmmm. Somehow I didn't picture this kind of sense of humor from NSX owners.

Now, on a ricer forum, it would be the norm.