Addendum to Ruben's Contract Found!!!!
1. You will refer to Ross Brawn as "Furher" and make appropriate gestures as you walk into the pits. You must also refer to Michael Schumacher as the "Kaiser."
2. You agree to have your F2002 serviced using parts from abandoned Yugos, Pintos, Pacers, and Gremlins.
3. In the throes of passion, your wife will be required to yell out the name "Michael."
4. At anytime in the future, any awards won by your children will immediately be sent back to the jeweler to have the nameplate replaced with a 24k Gold "Schumacher" Family Crest.
5. While driving around town, you will not be allowed to be the first car stopped at a traffic light. As this may give you the false belief you are in pole position, and therefore allowed to beat all other cars to the next light.
6. You agree to pick up the soap in the FI Paddock shower if Michael ever drops it, avoiding him any discomfort in his "cockpit seating area."
7. You agree to keep a brick under the accelerator in case you feel the strange need to "open 'er up" on track.
8. You agree to be Ross Brawns' caddy in celebrity F1 golfing events, and to help Brawn push Sir Frank Williams into the pond in order to crush the Williams' team spirit.
9. You agree that all children fathered by you are actually conceived in a lab using the geneticially superior German bloodline of Michael Schumacher.
10. You agree to fill your own tires during pit stops with an old fashioned hand pump.
11. When celebrating a team win at a buffet, you'll always be required to stand in line...second to Michael Schumacher, as not to give you the hope you may actually finish anything ahead of him.
12. You agree to have your right eye poked with sticks in order to severely limit your depth perception, making you think you're crossing the finish line first.
