Rodney Dangerfield

[Tom Larkins]

The guy was a classic comedy talent and the best IMO.

Sorry to see him go.

 

[steveny]

I saw the news today. Very sad indeed. CNBC said, "maybe he will finally get some respect."

 

[4AU4LIFE]

One of the best comedians of all time. True classic who will be sorely missed.
RIP Rodney.

 

[lemansnsx]

I'm going to stay up late one night soon and watch "Caddyshack" and "Back to School" again in his honor - while eating and drinking my fill, of course.

 

[DocL]

He truly was one of the best. I can still remember seeing Caddyshack and then memorizing most of the movie. In fact, I still quote lines from Caddyshack to this day with my favorite being "You'll get nothing and like it..."

RIP Rodney.

 

[steveny]

He truly was one of the best. I can still remember seeing Caddyshack and then memorizing most of the movie. In fact, I still quote lines from Caddyshack to this day with my favorite being "You'll get nothing and like it..."

RIP Rodney.

of course my favorite is "ITS IN THE HOLE"

 

[Tom Larkins]

Timeless lines from him in Caddyshack:

"Hey baby you must have been something before electricity" : Judge Smails wife.

"Now I know why tigers eat their young": after meeting Judge Smails nephew.

"Hey Judge, nice hat....did you get a bowl of soup with that. Oh but it looks good on you!!

"The last time I saw a face like that, it had a hook in it"

"Hey baby, you want to make $14 dollars the hard way"

 

[MJK]

Timeless lines from him in Caddyshack:

Some more good ones:

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
If it wasn't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.
My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Tell the cook this is low grade dog food ... This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must have been something before electricity.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west
When I was born, the doctor said to my father, " I'm sorry, we did everything we could but he still pulled through".
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper 4 times - 3 while I was reading it
What a dog I got. I tried to mate her - she wants 50 biscuits.
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
My uncles dying wish was to have me sit in his lap - he was in the electric chair
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
I was lost and asked a cop to help me find my parents "do you think we'll find them", "I don't know there's so many places to hide"
I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said " on your mark ......"
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
My old man, he carries around the picture of the kid that came with the wallet.
My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles, So he nailed my other foot to the floor.
I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in the library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
My wife made me join her bridge club ... I jump next Tuesday.
One time I went into a hotel, I asked the bellhop to handle my bag - he felt up my wife.
Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
They say 'love thy neighbour as thy self' , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too ?
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint
My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. She said "why should I you never put out for me".
I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough"
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them " are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over there's nobody home", I went over - nobody was home
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
After making love to this girl she started crying, I said "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning", "No I hate myself now"
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
FAT. My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
FAT. My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted, "surprise me" I said, so he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

 

[ChopsJazz]

He was quite possibly THE VERY BEST comedian EVER. JMO. I've heard recordings of him on a roll in Las Vegas and I laughed till I cried.

My favorite Dangerfield exchange in Back To School:

Dangerfield to Sally Kellerman, his teacher:

Dangerfield to Kellerman: We should get together Monday evening.
Kellerman: I can't. I have class.
Dangerfield: Tuesday?
Kellerman: I have class.
Dangerfield: Wednesday?
Kellerman: I have class.
Dangerfield: Well, call me some night when you have no class.

 

[DocL]

He was quite possibly THE VERY BEST comedian EVER. JMO. I've heard recordings of him on a roll in Las Vegas and I laughed till I cried.

My favorite Dangerfield exchange in Back To School:

Dangerfield to Sally Kellerman, his teacher:

Dangerfield to Kellerman: We should get together Monday evening.
Kellerman: I can't. I have class.
Dangerfield: Tuesday?
Kellerman: I have class.
Dangerfield: Wednesday?
Kellerman: I have class.
Dangerfield: Well, call me some night when you have no class.

Ken, don't forget "Flunk me, F&#K him."