Question about being in a wedding

[schuey1010]

OK, here is the deal. A good friend of mine is getting married in March. I am supposed to be in his wedding. No tuxes have been sized, nothing has been purchased, we are just at the point of I will be in the wedding.

We used to hang out four or five times a week, but now his woman (who does not care for me) rarely allows him to talk to me, or just hang with the boys. Poor guy.

My question. Is it cool for me to tell him that I would rather not be in the wedding because his beach does not care for me? I guess I could still go to the wedding, but I really don't want to be in it just because I know she would rather not have me in the ceremony?

Thoughts? Should I just suck it up for my OLD friend and just be in the thing?

 

[NsXMas]

If he's a good friend, suck it up. His life, his woman. He's not marrying you.

If he's not a good friend, skip the wedding. Cheers.

 

[ERICKGS3]

I think you gotta be in still. Out of respect for him, since he asked you to be in it. he thinks highly of you and wants you to be apart of this big day for him.

 

[enesexdreamer]

i feel you,.. i was in a similar situation in the past. just do it for your friend, and have a good time,..

 

[schuey1010]

Flask of Jack acceptable?

Is it considered bad behavior to have a flask of jack in my pocket to sip during the ceremony? :biggrin:

thanks for the replies

 

[enesexdreamer]

Re: Flask of Jack acceptable?

Is it considered bad behavior to have a flask of jack in my pocket to sip during the ceremony? :biggrin:

thanks for the replies

:biggrin: if people ask,. tell'em "just gettin this party started"

 

[menuserve]

if his bitch doesn't care for you... this is your chance to stand up to her... be in the wedding... make your friend happy... and there's nothing she can do about it!

 

[redshift]

Its very sad that your friend's fiance doesn't allow him to hang out with the boys. Its even sadder that this is okay with him. You're in a tough spot because it sounds like your friend doesn't stand up for you and now he wants you to stand up for him. Well, be the better man and do it. Who knows, you might have a great time - plus you can poke fun at the couple if you give a toast. :wink: :biggrin:

 

[Carguy!]

Just tell him you will be in his next wedding!:smile:

 

[DocL]

Just tell him you will be in his next wedding!:smile:

Ain't that the truth! :biggrin:

 

[Patdeisa]

I'll take a somewhat opposing view... If he asked you to be the best man, then I'd take the honor and do it. If he asked you to be a groomsman, then I'd tell him thanks for the offer, but seeing how your fiancee doesn't care for me, I'd prefer to just attend. It sucks that he has decided to prefer the girl over his friendship with you, but it could mess things up for him on the wedding day/rehearsal if she doesn't know or resents it without saying anything.

 

[steveny]

If it were me in the situation I would do it but I would also let my friend know exactly how I felt about the whole deal.

 

[Mike Hughes]

I agree. Do it for his sake, but let him know how you feel about his woman's tendencies.

 

[Da Hapa]

If it were me in the situation I would do it but I would also let my friend know exactly how I felt about the whole deal.

Agreed.

My definition of friendship would require me to be honest with my buddy about his bride to be and the way she interacts with you but also compel me to be there for him because friendship so extend past the good, bad and ugly and he's asking you to be there for him.

 

[vintagecarman]

If it were me in the situation I would do it but I would also let my friend know exactly how I felt about the whole deal.

I agree with statement unless, you want to have him crashing on your couch next year.:wink:

Honestly, if you don't think the Marriage will last than don’t support it however: if you think the marriage will work you better be there for your buddy. It's just sad when you loose a good friend to a self absorbed chick.

Best of luck.

.

 

[fkong777]

I agree. Do it for his sake, but let him know how you feel about his woman's tendencies.

Thats good advice. It takes a lot of dedication on your part to be in the wedding party. If you are giving your time and expense to help organize and participate in his wedding, he owe it to you to hear what you have to say.

 

[DocL]

I wouldn't say a damn thing to your friend about his soon to be bitchy wife. He'll figure out the problem in a matter of time. The first thing he is going to do is tell his fiance what you said and then there's going to be hostility between you and her. Then, because he is going to have to live with her, she is going to make his life misearable about the fact that his friend thinks so poorly of her. Who give a rats ass about her, if he's your friend be there for him. Do the duty of a good friend and stand there like a penguin as the nuptuals are being recited. Then, at the reception, get drunk and be thankful that you aren't marrying her.

 

[Edwardo]

Do the duty of a good friend and stand there like a penguin as the nuptuals are being recited. Then, at the reception, get drunk and be thankful that you aren't marrying her.

Werd

 

[H-carWizKid]

It might just be my experience, but I have noticed that women who hate their significant others friends do so because they are terribly insecure, and that insecurity leads to a lot of other issues in the relationship that will cause a meltdown.

5 minutes before I went down the aisle my best friend pulled me aside and and offered me his car keys in case I wanted to get the f---k out of there.

I didn't take the advice.

a little over 6 years later, he is still my best friend, and she is making some other poor schmoe miserable.

Having been in your friends place- he might just figure it out someday, so don't give up on your friendship just because he is whipped right now.

Just be sure to have your Re-Batchlor "I told you so" party money ready-

Good luck with your decision.

 

[rickysals]

hot bridesmaids dude... hot bridesmaids

 

[H-carWizKid]

hot bridesmaids dude... hot bridesmaids

Werd. :biggrin:

 

[NeoNSX]

Do the wedding. Your mate asked you, not her. She might have prefered to pick somebody else because it's "her wedding" ...but there are a couple of things the man should be allowed to pick for the day: 1) his groomsmen, and 2) the CARS!

I wouldn't say a damn thing to your friend about his soon to be bitchy wife.

Exactly. Been there, tried that. Even if you tell him, he won't hear you.

 

[ChopsJazz]

I've been in a number of weddings, as some of you know :wink: , and I'll offer a little advice.

DO NOT say how you feel to your friend. If you want to be in his wedding for him, then do it. But keep your mouth shut. If you don't want to, then don't do it. But know this: ANYTHING YOU SAY will be repeated to her, it's the husband/wife privelage, and it WILL came back to haunt you. If you think he never spends time with you now, just wait till she finds out what you've said to him. I am in this EXACT position with a very good friend of mine. I have to find times to call or visit when she isn't around. It's been that way for years now and it sucks. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Good luck. To you both!

 

[schuey1010]

I've been in a number of weddings, as some of you know :wink: , and I'll offer a little advice.

DO NOT say how you feel to your friend. If you want to be in his wedding for him, then do it. But keep your mouth shut. If you don't want to, then don't do it. But know this: ANYTHING YOU SAY will be repeated to her, it's the husband/wife privelage, and it WILL came back to haunt you. If you think he never spends time with you now, just wait till she finds out what you've said to him. I am in this EXACT position with a very good friend of mine. I have to find times to call or visit when she isn't around. It's been that way for years now and it sucks. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Good luck. To you both!

EXACTLY! I know he will tell her everything I say to him.

 

[sjones]

Just tell him you will be in his next wedding!:smile:

:biggrin: