One for our Aussie friends

710

Experienced Member
Joined
19 December 2004
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937
Location
Belgium
found this...somewhere...

Classic Version:
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The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The Modern Australian Version:
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The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
The ABC and Channel 9 show up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.
Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Democrats, the Greens and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The ABC, interrupting an Aboriginal cultural festival special from North Queensland with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Bob Brown rants in an interview with Yana Went that the ant has got rich off the backs of Grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. And the ALP quickly passes it through the
Senate.
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The ant moves to Asia, and starts a successful agribiz company. The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food even though Spring is still months away.
While the government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn’t maintained it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Kim Beasley now is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sydney Morning Herald blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorise the community.
Who says we don't live in a democracy?
 
No, one of my friends just emailed it to me. It’s relevant in our circle or friends because you Ozzie bastards are stealing one of our best friends.

You see, it started when he (he’s a car nut from Holland) went on holiday with his Elise through the hills of Germany, Hungary etc for a couple of weeks. He was sitting on the terrace of a café when he noticed this cute Aussie girl at the other table. They started talking and she is REAL friggin sharp with humour etc. and he also has a really good sense of humour, but it’s more soft and lethal, so they got on.

And, to make a long story short, they fell madly in love and now my friend is moving to Oz this January with her. Quit his job, sold his house and all of his cars except the Elise and has found a job in Oz (he’s a high tech engineer).

Our next bi-annual road trip to terrorise motorcycles in the hills of France won’t be the same again.

You bastards.

The only hope we are holding onto is that she likes it better in Europe (horses, dressage etc) and maybe they will come back.:smile:
Peter
PS. That’s why, in another post, I said I will try to come to OZ in the next few months. To visit them. And see hopping things…:smile:
 
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Another problem with those Aussie chicks, making them EVEN more attractive, is their accent.
Damn.
How the hell are we supposed to resist them? Eh? You tell me!
 
710 said:
Another problem with those Aussie chicks, making them EVEN more attractive, is their accent.
Damn.
How the hell are we supposed to resist them? Eh? You tell me!

I don't know about that... I find them pretty easy to resist actually... And as for the accent.... Well I'm pretty immune to that

Pete, I think you'll find that the best Aussie girls are the ones overseas! Or have at least travelled and worked overseas, as they are generally more interesting and adventurous!

I myself prefer the imported models... :wink:

This facination with Aussie chicks has noting to do with your impending trip to Australia does it? Or is it your mates wedding your comming down for?
 
AU_NSX said:
] This fascination with Aussie chicks has nothing to do with your impending trip to Australia does it?
No, I’ve been with my girl for 16 years. It’s too late for me now…I’m a gone-er. I went to Europe for only a short visit for a few months and then met her. I’m still stuck here. (girls are to blame for our chaotic lives, aren’t they?):rolleyes:

AU_NSX said:
imported models... :wink
I know what you mean. Mine was a Dutch model. If Aussie girls have the most awesome attractive accent, Dutch girls are the best looking. Tall and thin. Legs that don’t stop. Classy. Educated.
Don’t come to Holland, you’ll screw up your whole life. I’d say normal countries have about 10% really good looking girls. Holland has about 40%. It’s bloody lethal.
My brother came for the Christmas vacation. That was 11 years ago…he’s still here, married to one.

AU_NSX said:
I don't know about that... I find them pretty easy to resist actually... And as for the accent.... Well I'm pretty immune to that
No sh*t. Lucky bastard.:biggrin:
Peter

PS: as to your question of where in Australia I will be visiting, I don’t know yet. I have asked him a couple of times, but he has turned into a blubbering fool. Totally in love. We don’t hear of him anymore, no more daily emails, doesn’t answer his mobile, doesn’t visit anymore. Totally gone.
You know the feeling.
 
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