I'd recommend, take one day going up one side of the valley (the 29) and the next day coming down the other side (Silverado Trail). There's hot springs / spas in the north of the valley (Calistoga) if you are into that kind of thing, great way to start your second day. For the wine: William Harrison, Rombauer, Miner Family, Duckhorn, Whitehall Lane; for the architecture and wine, Clos Pegase, Robert Sinskey, Robert Mondavi (all gorgeous). For the gondola ride and wine, Sterling. For the place a James Bond villian might be found and unnecessarily expensive wine, Opus One. And for people behind the counter who admired my ride when I drove up and the wine, Sawyer
Don't just go with big names, you'll find some reasonably priced favorites by visiting places on a whim. And, if you're going with a date / loved one, split a tasting glass at the wineries instead of getting one each - otherwise it's real hard to last the day! If you are into buying, you will have to ship wines back - put them in the trunk and they'll heat and spoil. As far as restaraunts go, The French Laundry is world reknown but about $200 per person (never been).
And yeah, post on the Northern Cal forum too - those guys prolly get up there alot!