First, in my experience, when you post something on the internet, the last people you want to read it will eventually end up reading it, sometimes sooner rather than later. So, that being the case, my parents may see this post someday. With that in mind....
I am extremely concerned about my parents. They are in their early 60s, live 1500 miles from both myself and my brother in Florida, they have some serious health issues and they are in denial. My wife and I and my brother have proposed many solutions to some of their problems and offered to help in any way we can (though none of us can afford to help financially). They always have an excuse as to why our ideas won't work. They claim they want to move up here but because of the real estate situation, they couldn't get much more than $40-50K for their condo and can't buy anything at that price near us. We've proposed subsidized housing like my mother-in-law has, they counter that they have too much income to make that affordable because these places take a percentage and they'd be paying $1000 a month. I believe it's an excuse and they just don't want to move. OK, at least tell us the truth. They claimed they had wanted to and my wife, god bless her, spent dozens of hours of her time during the kids' naps, researching places, driving there, getting applications for them, mailling them down, etc. All for nothing.
My dad was told 6 months ago his white blood cell count was high and they wanted him to come back in 3 months for a test to make sure he doesn't have leukemia. He never went back. He was also in a car accident and his back is messed up pretty badly. He has trouble getting up and sitting down, so tends to sit all day long and avoid moving. He says 4 surgeons have looked at it and refused to operate because he has so many bad discs, so his solution is oxycontin. LOTS and LOTS of it. My mother was in a car accident as well over a decade ago and had a hip replacement. That's causing her a lot of pain now, she has no medical insurance (my dad does to some extent) and so she's taking oxy for that as well. I'm told around 200mg a day. They have a doctor prescribing the stuff by the bucket load.
They sleep all day long, and when they aren't asleep, they can fall asleep on their feet. My mom's mouth will fall open in the middle of a conversation and her eyes roll back in her head. She starts saying things like 'hang on... I'll work through it... keep talking'. It's scary. They DRIVE while on this stuff!!! Now I'm told because they sleep so much, a doctor (same one? different? i dunno) has started prescribing amphetamines. They ran out of oxy one day and my father started puking his guts out in withdrawal. He got more and was 'fine' again.
They get irrational and mean at times, they can't function normally, are depressed, and appear to have given up on life. I'm not sure what I could do if I lived down the street, but 1500 miles away makes it seem like it's impossible to do anything, especially since they don't realize the direction they're headed, or simply don't care. They don't have any savings, they got $22K from my dad's car accident and blew almost all of it getting new furniture and flooring in their house. If they need any sort of care down the road (likely), neither my brother or I can afford it. They keep saying things like 'oh your mom's SS kicks in soon and we'll just save all of that". My parents don't know how to save, never have. They will spend every penny that comes in, almost as fast as it comes in.
So, I'm not only worried about them, but I'm worried about the financial burden they will likely present to my family someday. The only thing I can think of to do, which will probably not help, and is more likely to create a new problem, is to call the doctor listed on the oxycontin bottle and tell him what's going on. I know he can't say anything to me because of HIPPA and I suspect he's more of a drug pusher than a doctor, so he may not even care (in fact, he's a psychiatrist!).
If my parents are reading this and are outraged and offended.... it's because YOU ARE IN DENIAL!!!!! I love you both and just want you guys to get better. Right now, you're both committing slow suicide and are not only a danger to yourselves, but to the people around you when you drive. You are ignoring everything you've ever taught me.
I am extremely concerned about my parents. They are in their early 60s, live 1500 miles from both myself and my brother in Florida, they have some serious health issues and they are in denial. My wife and I and my brother have proposed many solutions to some of their problems and offered to help in any way we can (though none of us can afford to help financially). They always have an excuse as to why our ideas won't work. They claim they want to move up here but because of the real estate situation, they couldn't get much more than $40-50K for their condo and can't buy anything at that price near us. We've proposed subsidized housing like my mother-in-law has, they counter that they have too much income to make that affordable because these places take a percentage and they'd be paying $1000 a month. I believe it's an excuse and they just don't want to move. OK, at least tell us the truth. They claimed they had wanted to and my wife, god bless her, spent dozens of hours of her time during the kids' naps, researching places, driving there, getting applications for them, mailling them down, etc. All for nothing.
My dad was told 6 months ago his white blood cell count was high and they wanted him to come back in 3 months for a test to make sure he doesn't have leukemia. He never went back. He was also in a car accident and his back is messed up pretty badly. He has trouble getting up and sitting down, so tends to sit all day long and avoid moving. He says 4 surgeons have looked at it and refused to operate because he has so many bad discs, so his solution is oxycontin. LOTS and LOTS of it. My mother was in a car accident as well over a decade ago and had a hip replacement. That's causing her a lot of pain now, she has no medical insurance (my dad does to some extent) and so she's taking oxy for that as well. I'm told around 200mg a day. They have a doctor prescribing the stuff by the bucket load.
They sleep all day long, and when they aren't asleep, they can fall asleep on their feet. My mom's mouth will fall open in the middle of a conversation and her eyes roll back in her head. She starts saying things like 'hang on... I'll work through it... keep talking'. It's scary. They DRIVE while on this stuff!!! Now I'm told because they sleep so much, a doctor (same one? different? i dunno) has started prescribing amphetamines. They ran out of oxy one day and my father started puking his guts out in withdrawal. He got more and was 'fine' again.
They get irrational and mean at times, they can't function normally, are depressed, and appear to have given up on life. I'm not sure what I could do if I lived down the street, but 1500 miles away makes it seem like it's impossible to do anything, especially since they don't realize the direction they're headed, or simply don't care. They don't have any savings, they got $22K from my dad's car accident and blew almost all of it getting new furniture and flooring in their house. If they need any sort of care down the road (likely), neither my brother or I can afford it. They keep saying things like 'oh your mom's SS kicks in soon and we'll just save all of that". My parents don't know how to save, never have. They will spend every penny that comes in, almost as fast as it comes in.
So, I'm not only worried about them, but I'm worried about the financial burden they will likely present to my family someday. The only thing I can think of to do, which will probably not help, and is more likely to create a new problem, is to call the doctor listed on the oxycontin bottle and tell him what's going on. I know he can't say anything to me because of HIPPA and I suspect he's more of a drug pusher than a doctor, so he may not even care (in fact, he's a psychiatrist!).
If my parents are reading this and are outraged and offended.... it's because YOU ARE IN DENIAL!!!!! I love you both and just want you guys to get better. Right now, you're both committing slow suicide and are not only a danger to yourselves, but to the people around you when you drive. You are ignoring everything you've ever taught me.
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