Maybe an old one, but first time I see and thought was funny:
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After pulling over a speeding driver, a police officer continues with the usual procedure, asking the driver for his license.
“I don’t have one,” the driver answers, “I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.”
“May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?” the officer then asks.
“It’s not my car,” the driver responds, “I stole it.”
The confused officer then asks, “The car is stolen?”
“That’s right,” says the driver. “But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.”
“You’re telling me there’s a gun in the glove box?” the officer says.
“Yes sir,” the driver continues. “That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.”
“There’s a body in the trunk?!?” the amazed officer asks.
Still straight faced, the driver answers, “Yes, sir.”
Hearing this, the officer immediately calls his captain. Numerous other cops show up for back up and the captain slowly approaches the driver to handle this tense situation.
The Captain then approaches, “Sir, can I see your license?”
“Here you go officer,” the driver says calmly as he hands him a legit ID.
“Who’s car is this?” the Captain asks.
“It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card,” the driver answers while handing him a valid registration in his name.
“Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?” the Captain continues.
“Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it,” the driver responds. Sure enough, there is nothing in the glove box.
The Captain then asks, “Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there’s a body in it.”
“No problem,” the driver says before opening the trunk, which is also empty.
“I don’t understand it,” the Captain says. “The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk.”
“Yeah,” the driver says. “And I’ll bet you the lying sonovabitch told you I was speeding, too!”
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After pulling over a speeding driver, a police officer continues with the usual procedure, asking the driver for his license.
“I don’t have one,” the driver answers, “I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.”
“May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?” the officer then asks.
“It’s not my car,” the driver responds, “I stole it.”
The confused officer then asks, “The car is stolen?”
“That’s right,” says the driver. “But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.”
“You’re telling me there’s a gun in the glove box?” the officer says.
“Yes sir,” the driver continues. “That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.”
“There’s a body in the trunk?!?” the amazed officer asks.
Still straight faced, the driver answers, “Yes, sir.”
Hearing this, the officer immediately calls his captain. Numerous other cops show up for back up and the captain slowly approaches the driver to handle this tense situation.
The Captain then approaches, “Sir, can I see your license?”
“Here you go officer,” the driver says calmly as he hands him a legit ID.
“Who’s car is this?” the Captain asks.
“It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card,” the driver answers while handing him a valid registration in his name.
“Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?” the Captain continues.
“Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it,” the driver responds. Sure enough, there is nothing in the glove box.
The Captain then asks, “Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there’s a body in it.”
“No problem,” the driver says before opening the trunk, which is also empty.
“I don’t understand it,” the Captain says. “The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk.”
“Yeah,” the driver says. “And I’ll bet you the lying sonovabitch told you I was speeding, too!”
