Girl in Santa Monica Needs Prayer

[naaman]

A couple of months ago, I was at the Promenade, and I ran into a young lady who asked me for change. She didn't appear to be "needy," so I was a little confused. I offered to buy her some food on my credit card, because I didn't have any cash on me. She said that someone had just bought her dinner. I asked her what she needed the money for and she said "a motel room for the night." I asked her where she was from. "Maui."
"You didn't run away, did you?"
"No...well, yeah, kind of."
"How old are you?"
"Ninteen." I scrounged around in my pockets for a few seconds and came up with less than fifty cents. She seemed like a well adjusted, perfectly normal (mentally) healthy girl. I felt bad that all I could give her was the better part of $.50. But that was all I had. For the next half hour after I left her, I kept on thinking that I should have invited her to church. But seeing as how I'd probably never see her again, I figured I should stop worrying about it.

But on Thrusday, I was at the mall, going toward the bathrooms, and I saw a dirty, raggedy, tattered young lady--her green pants were wet and black below the ankles, looking as though she'd been wearing them in the weather for weeks. Her face had broken out, and her hair was a complete mess. And I swear that in her eyes was the look of a broken soul...lifeless and hopeless. And after about half a second, I recognized her as the girl I gave change to back in November.

She was still here, "living" in downtown Santa Monica on the whimful graces of passers-by. I wanted to help here, but I did not know what exactly would be the best way (she might not be "responsible" with money, might feel belittled if I shared scripture etc). So I decided to pray for her. I have dubbed her "Nicole" since this second occasion.

Granted there are plenty of homeless in Santa Monica, but all of the ones that I recognize have likely been homeless since before I was born. I've never seen a person's life and livelyhood actually degenerate before... and this incident has un-desensitized me toward the homeless.

This hits close to home because she is just three years younger than me, yet at this juncture, she has good 60 more years life expectancy, and no life to speak of in front of her. She has decades of homelessness to look forward to, and she hasn't even lived yet.

Anyway, I will be talking with my pastor to try and see what exactly the church can do for her (she may need rehab, at least), and I've been praying that God will put me to posative use in her life, and provide me with the wisdom to (if at all) help her, and guide her in the right direction.

Any effort to include her (and me) in your prayers is greatly appreciated.

 

[sinister midget]

you are both on my list. keep us posted on things.

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dave
94 black/tan

 

[NeoNSX]

That's a really sad story... i'll be praying too.

Only God can provide what people need to get out of situations like that.

...and before you know it, she'll be driving an NSX too.

 

[Midnight_Raven]

Hey, you guys should start a little charity thingy and help her out. Like the NSX Prime Fund. So you can get enough money to get her some new close so she could get a new job. Maybe some to get her a little apartment to live in for a while. If she does make it and can make her life better than I bet you she won't forget us NSXPrime members at all. She won't forget all the help that we have given her. That would make you feel great about yourself knowing that you just helped one very young girl start a life that she can enjoy.

Or you could just ask her what her home is and check out the family for her. Just to make sure her family aren't realy bad people. That could be the reason why she left. If they are good people then you could try to motivate her to move back in with her family.

Hope I help you out.

 

[naaman]

Thanks guys.

Raven, that sounds like a good idea. Worth a try. There have been some threads here about "teenage wisdom" generally talking about teenagers knowing nothing... clearly those people have never met any teenagers like you.

 

[scottjua]

not to hijack your thread but I have story about the homeless:

around 1993-1994 a bunch of friends and I went down to austin to see a punk rock show...some band we were into at the time...and usually on our Austin trips we stop, park, and eat at the WEndy's on Guadalupe near the UT campus so we could hit up the local record store. There were quite commonly the slew of bums and homeless hanging around scrounging for change, and most times it was so common no one paid any attention. We were pretty hard up for cash most times, so the mid set was that there was no way we were giving up our hard earned and needed money for the bums who could not fend enough for themselves to get up a try to make a living.

Well, on this particular day there were near 10-15 of us who had made the trip from Ft.hood area to the Austin area for this show. We all meandered into the Wendy's for a bite to eat before we watched the others who actually had money go buy yet, more records. After having my lovingly fatty double bacon cheeseburger, my fries, and shake, I came out to find a crowd of about 10 of my "friends" or cohorts encircling something and laughing and wopping aloud. As I got closer I heard the clang of pocket change hitting the ground, followed by yet more applause, laughter, and foolishness. When I actually got to the circle to see what was going on, I was horrified to see everyone throwing money on the ground, in front of cars, in a trash can, and under cars while instructing someone to go after it or do tricks for the money. This someone was one of the local homeless who had become an animal in their eyes and an object of ridicule and cruelty, while throwing any last crumb of dignity to ask for change to survive. He has SO desperate that he obliged with a blank expression as his eyes never left each shiny penny that was flung at his head.

It took me all of two seconds of course to lose my mind in anger and scream aloud at these horrible humans I had been calling friends for the better part of 5 years. I could only see red, as I was so upset at the display of disgusting treatment to a person, that it was all I could do not to just pummle the living hell out of each and every one of them. In fact I think most of them were afraid I might and dispersed pretty quickly.

I took the poor homeless guy aside and tried to talk to him. I didn't even get a word out when he said "Pappy's hungry...pappy's so hungry it hurts...pappy needs food, please...do you have any change, I'll do anything." alsmot in tears I told him, come on lets go inside, I'll buy you some food as I tried to lead him in. But he was hesitant... then he said "pappy can't eat...pappy has no teeth" he lifted his lips to reveal the worst inflamed and rotting gums I had ever seen. His face and skin was so badly encrusted with some skin ailment that I was afraid to touch him or even be too close (which I am still ashamed of). "Pappy can only eat soft, soup...soft"

I used to carry a lucky coin that was a silver dollar from around 1900 or so, and I had some change in my pocket, so I told him to take this silver dollar to a trusted place...see if he could get 20$ for it or so. He understood despite his spoen english being child like, and said he would try to sell it. He blessed me, thanked me and walked away.

Ever since I have looked for him but never seen him again. He was pretty darn old at that time, and I'm afraid he may not have made it much longer. I STILL to this day regret not having done more. How stupid was I to think a collectible silver dollar would help this guy. I wish I could go back and find that poor guy, take him someplace, get him a job, some clean clothes...etc. I'll never forget the chance I had to really help someone...and I was too scared to help, and my cop-out was a silver dollar circa 1900.

I still shake my head when I think about it...

btw, I never hung out with my "friends" after tha event much ever again.

in short...it's easier said than done...but the hassle and discomfort could go through helping someone...is NOTHING comparedc to what they must suffer to get them in the position to live like they do. Granted some CHOOSE it, and usually they are obvious...but some have had some sh!tty luck...and life jsut aint that nice. I am lucky...and still too selfish. I wish I could change...and sometimes think I do...but in reality my selfishness keeps my eyes closed.

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Got dat ol' vee six cilnder inder?

http://www.nextestdrive.net

 

[Midnight_Raven]

Hey naaman, thanks for that compliment, it makes me feel better about myself.

Hey naaman, are you willing to run the charity, because I could send you a money order of ten dollars if you want. I'll do it, its only ten bucks, doesn't make that much of a difference in my life. Actually I'm 3 years younger than her but man that is realy sad.

If you could get 1000 people to send at least 10 dollars to you, you could make 10,000 dollars which is enough to start helping her out. Heck you could help about 2 more people if you want with that kind of money.

Hope I helped you out even more.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

I will pledge $50.00 to Nicole via your church.

 

[D'Ecosse]

I don't mean this to detract from the process - it is important to have this managed appropriately if you are to do this; it starts with how much does the young lady want to be helped & can the resources be applied towards a lasting solution? You obviously need more information to discern what the particular issues of this case are. Just handing over money clearly not the solution - clothes, shelter & rehabilitation (for whatever the requirement) are obvious but will need to be controlled.
That having been said, I'm in - if you get a fund started, please let me know where/how to participate.
Lesson in giving from Raven - $10 from his birthday cash is significantly more than 10X that for most of us - great example from the young man!

 

[MYNSX]

That is a sobering story of the life of a person you have met.It is refreshing to see
compassion for others.I never forget those close to me as well as myself when I was young and God helped me find my way @ 18 years old,finally.
I will pray and do e-mail me if I can help.
There is a significant amount of experience I have in this area.

Bill (MYNSX)
ETERNAL VIGILANCE.
Focused, Driven and persistant.

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WWW.MYNSX.COM

 

[naaman]

Wow, you guys. I wasn't really expecting this much of a response. Honestly, I'm kind of nervous to approach her. I did see her recently when one of my friends took me to dinner at the promenade. She seemed to be "okay" and healthy. She was in cleaner clothes than the previous time.

I don't know much about running a fund raiser. I hadn't even thought of that, actually (money is a scarce part of my life, and it's not on my mind much). Obviously, money is what the Nicole is missing, and would be the universal solution. I'll talk more to my pastor about this fund raiser idea.

In the mean time, I need to gather up the courage to approach her and share my faith and desire to help her. I don't want to go about it the "wrong way" and scare her off or anything, and I don't want to sound like I am "preaching" as that tends to repulse people, too. And D'Esscose is right: if she is receptive to being helped (and willing to pull herself up by the boot straps), then I will try to coordiante some sort of pledge system.

I really appreciate the responses.

 

[Lud]

D'Ecosse is right. It is extremely unlikely that just handing someone a few hundred dollars cash is going to fix their homeless situation or even appreciably improve it for more than a couple weeks at best.

I think it would be a good idea to talk to her and find out her situation before deciding how you can help. You also need to make sure she wants your help.

Not to over-simplify what is usually a complex issue, but I think it's safe to say there are three big things you need to consider:

1. Hurdles. Mental problems and addiction are disproportinately high among the homeless and they often have trouble getting good treatment. I do not have a good solution for this, but I would suggest trying to feel her out on these because if she is an addict or has obvious mental issues, it is going to be very hard to help her and you will need to address those problems before much of anything else you do will actually help.

2. Employment. Did she finish high school? Is she capable and willing to hold a job? Has she ever held a job? If not, what is your plan to prevent her from ending up right back on the street?

3. Housing. Is she of age? Does she have decent credit? If not, it will be very hard for her to find acceptable housing to rent even if she has steady income. There may be some government assistance available here, I'm not sure of the details.

If you can get past all three of those issues, then several hundred dollars CAN help by addressing things like money for rental and utility deposits, some food, a few sets of clothes and initial public transportation costs to get to/from work.

 

[Darkcyd]

If you get this up and running, I am more than willing to come out and help. I live in Santa Monica so I'll do what I can.

 

[naaman]

Well, I've talked to my pastor, and he skeptical (based on years of past experience) of any one human being's ability to "help" a homeless person because as Lud and D'Esscose said, she has to want to be helped and has to be willing to work to maintain a life.

My pastor suggested that I do some research and talk to people who have training to deal with this kind of thing if I want to help. I know of one place in Santa Monica for the homeless that will feed them and provide them with showering facilities.

And speaking of homelessness, I may be "homeless" for about a month: My friend just gave his roommate (who he's not fond of) his month's notice and said that I could move in with him starting in Feb. I already gave MY notice at my place, and have until the eighth to be out of there, then , my friend called me and said, "I just talked to my manager and he said that I cannot have three adults in the apartment." So wish me luck.