I recommend a full rack of ribs with a side of corn on the cob eaten in a strip club and washed down with a bunch of tequila. Give him all your views on religion politics loudly while you are eating. Then, when the check comes, neither of your pays - just run for it!
Seriously - your best bet is to:
* First, I assume you know basic US table manners. If not, which may very well be the case if you are relatively new to the country, hit the Internet or local library or some people around your office for a basic rundown on things like proper use of napkins, bread plates, salad forks, knives, etc. and not slupring your soup or cutting your entire meal up and then eating it, etc. You do not need anything beyond basic table manners here - it is not a State dinner at the White House.
* nsxtasy already coverd who orders first - it doesn't matter.
* If you are familiar with a good number of restaurants in the area, ask the guy if he has a preference for types of food and pick a corresponding restaurant THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TO BEFORE. If you have limited restaurant experience in the area, get some recommendations from people who take their local clients out to dinner often. Pick a casual-but-good restaurant so neither of you have to worry about what to do with 12 different forks. Even if you know, the other guy may not and it would be embarassing for him. I would probably avoid a place where a coat and tie is required, but also anyplace where it is loud or there are children. I believe you are in the NOVA/DC area - if so, you can go to
www.zagat.com and search for places appropriate for "Business Dining" in the area by using the Advanced Search function. Avoid anything that says coat and tie required or you can quickly get into the 12 forks thing.
* Order what you would order if you were paying for it yourself, with the exeption of messy or complicated foods - no ribs, quail, lobster, crab legs or anything like that. If you like steak, get steak - it's a standard, easy thing to order and eat. You said you are trying to negotiate some business with this guy, and you don't want to have to devote half your attention to eating your dinner if you can help it.
* Alcohol is a big "it depends". If you OFTEN drink wine with dinner anyway, and it's not going to stress you out to try and pick a wine that matches well with your meal, I think a glass of wine is fine. If you would normally not have wine with dinner, skip it. Liquor is not a good idea. Avoid more than one drink, esp. if you are negotiating. This means do not order a bottle even if he wants to; order a glass of whatever you want or just skip it.
* Talk about neutral things of mutual interest (pro sports, golf, boating, cars, travel, whatever.) Since you are probably going to be talking business most of the time this isn't too much of an issue, but I strongly recommend some small talk about mutual interests to break the ice before jumping into business talk so you can both be more comfortable and have a good dialog flowing.
* Assuming your employer doesn't have a policy against it, let him pick up the check and thank him when he does. If it is against your company's policy, just politely explain that and you can have the waiter split the check. The saying about picking up the check when people are in your neck of the woods applies to friends or business peers. In the private sector, for a vendor-client meal, the vendor picks up the check. However, if there is any awkwardness (i.e. he doesn't take care of it as soon as it comes to the table), go ahead and pay for it. If he actually lets you pay, he doesn't know what he is doing, and that knowledge will certainly be worth more than the cost of dinner elsewhere in your negotiations! This is very, very unlikely but it did happen to a friend of mine once.
* If he is meeting you at your office, it would be polite to offer to drive to dinner since you know the area and he is from out of town. Don't take him out in your NSX and scare him to death though! If you are meeting at the restaurant, pick a place close to where he is staying. I would also offer to pick him up, but if not, make sure he has very good directions and both the restaurant's number and your mobile phone number in case he gets lost.
You are the client - the pressure is on the other guy, not you. He wants your business. Remember that the other guy is just a person having dinner with a stranger as well, and he's from out of town on top of that while you are on your home turf.
[This message has been edited by Lud (edited 29 March 2002).]
