Dear Tech Support,

Joined
6 November 2002
Messages
4,697
Location
UT
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep
Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User



REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because
Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
 
Man White, I hope you are wearing Flame resistance...:smile:
Still funny though...
 
len3.8 said:
Man White, I hope you are wearing Flame resistance...:smile:
Still funny though...


Oh it's ok. My wife sent it to me.:biggrin:
 
mike7423 said:
That's hilarious. I'm forwarding to my girlfriend 7.0 now. She wants to upgrade to wife 1.0 soon.


I would Contol + Alt + Delete asap if you're not wanting to upgrade.:wink:
 
The "other" way around:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and have experienced a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 has disabled other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4 and PGA 4.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but without success. What can I do?

Desperate.

-------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package! , while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C :/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

Caution: overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications like Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.5, or reinstall another Boyfriend program! These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.. They could also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and doesn't learn new applications quickly. You might consider installing additional software to enhance the system performance. I personally recommend SingleMaltScotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which should also improve performance of Husband 1.0's hardware).

Good luck! Tech Support :biggrin:
 
since we're talking techy jokes... i had first hand with one of the most funniest tech problems i've seen firsthand.

One user on a network i manage had a mailbox of 1.6GBytes when i came back from the USA, and we've tried all the avenues for clearing his mailbox without actually going through his mail... (i believe in privacy). ... like archiving mail, etc..

But yesterday he'd had enough and told me to just look through it. And i found an email he had tried to send with a 289MByte attachment!!! :eek: Of course, it bounced :rolleyes: so without reading the error message why it bounced he tried sending it again three more times. :D :D :D 1.1GB in just four emails!!! that's a new record!
 
Back
Top