hi, i know im really new and havent posted much but ive had this site as my home page for at least a year now and i feel comfortable here...not to mention i have no where else to go to. im having man trouble. my boyfriend of a year has suddenly turned into someone i dont know over the past few months. i dont know what it is but he is always so cold with me. i called him up today and he gives off this "why did you call me" vibe and i said that i just wanted to say hi and he's like "ok". he doesnt ask me about anything in my life anymore...now how was your day or anything like that but at the same time he wants me to go to concerts with him. i dont know what i should do about this. the other night when i went out to a movie with my friend (who happens to be a guy) he got all pissed and i think he thinks im cheating on him, which is just ridiculous. im sorry, i just needed to tell this to someone because he doesnt want to talk about it...let along anything with me. thanks guys.
cant do it anymore, need to vent
- Thread starter RedlineNSX
- Start date
Difficult situation.
You should ask him what his issues are. Then dump him.
Either he deems you important enough to come back to, or he's not worth your time.
You should ask him what his issues are. Then dump him.
Either he deems you important enough to come back to, or he's not worth your time.
RedlineNSX,
Sorry to hear about your situation. It is good to vent your feelings and frustrations and I'm glad you feel at home with the NSX community to do so.
As far as your problem goes maybe your boyfriend doesn't realize he is treating you this way. Maybe if you brought it to his attention you could understand what the problem may be. Us guys are clueless and he probably doesn't realize he is giving off bad vibes. As far as the cheating issue is concerned, in my opinion, that is a good thing for you right now. At least it shows that he still cares about you.
My apologies again and I hope things work out for the best for yourself,
Mike
Sorry to hear about your situation. It is good to vent your feelings and frustrations and I'm glad you feel at home with the NSX community to do so.
As far as your problem goes maybe your boyfriend doesn't realize he is treating you this way. Maybe if you brought it to his attention you could understand what the problem may be. Us guys are clueless and he probably doesn't realize he is giving off bad vibes. As far as the cheating issue is concerned, in my opinion, that is a good thing for you right now. At least it shows that he still cares about you.
My apologies again and I hope things work out for the best for yourself,
Mike
If he doesn't get excited to hear from you, yet is jealous & untrusting, seems like you might be better off with someone who appreciates you. If he doesn't want to talk about the issue, I would presume it is something he doesn't want you to know.
I don't pretend to know if this is what's happenning in your case, but my ex-wife constantly was jealous, accusing me of cheating etc (I wasn't) yet she moved out because she was "confused". It turns out the "confusion" was another guy!!! However even when I moved on & found someone else she still was p'o'd at my relationship - she wanted her new boyfriend but wasn't completely prepared to let me go, like some kind of insurance policy!!!
Anyway, the moral is, you don't need to put up with a problem that is not of your making - you knowwhat you are contributing to the relationship & if the same isn't coming back, there is someone much better waiting just around the corner. In my case, I am much happer now than I thought I was with my ex.
I don't pretend to know if this is what's happenning in your case, but my ex-wife constantly was jealous, accusing me of cheating etc (I wasn't) yet she moved out because she was "confused". It turns out the "confusion" was another guy!!! However even when I moved on & found someone else she still was p'o'd at my relationship - she wanted her new boyfriend but wasn't completely prepared to let me go, like some kind of insurance policy!!!
Anyway, the moral is, you don't need to put up with a problem that is not of your making - you knowwhat you are contributing to the relationship & if the same isn't coming back, there is someone much better waiting just around the corner. In my case, I am much happer now than I thought I was with my ex.
Couldn't disagree more - jealousy & mistrust are hardly loving traits!!!!!!
thanks guys. its nice to hear from people who are willing to help and talk about it. thanks for the advice and the kind words
Good luck! Dump the chump and upgrade to a better model 
Coming from the guy's point of view... I've went thru something similar (as your bf did) and had similar words said to me... That I've "changed" and became "cold" all of the sudden over the past short period of time.... Even the "I don't know you anymore..." Well, I know that all situations are different but... Even though I didn't want to admit it at the time, my feelings have somewhat changed... and quite honestly it wasn't for anyone specific but just due to work cirsumstances, during that short period of time I was given the opportunity to meet a whole new "market" of attractive young ladies. Yes, I know you're probably thinking, "why are guys so shallow..." Well, I was young... didn't know any better... Never really saw what was "out there"... I thought that I shouldn't be tied down and thus my change in feelings couldn't be disguised...
Observe him... Has he been doing anything in the past few months that he didn't previously do? New group of friends? Traveling alot? Or, like me, work related changes?
Oh, and ya... like your bf, at the time, I certainly didn't want to talk about it either... Why? Because I didn't want to let her go yet I didn't want to admit that I have changed.... and I certainly didn't want to tell her why I've changed...
Best of luck and hope things works out for ya!
Observe him... Has he been doing anything in the past few months that he didn't previously do? New group of friends? Traveling alot? Or, like me, work related changes?
Oh, and ya... like your bf, at the time, I certainly didn't want to talk about it either... Why? Because I didn't want to let her go yet I didn't want to admit that I have changed.... and I certainly didn't want to tell her why I've changed...
Best of luck and hope things works out for ya!
Dear RedlineNSX,
I am not sure if I can provide you with the most comforting interpretation or advice on your relationship. Although it is hard for me to see the big picture from your brief description, my initial impression on your situation is the following.
If you noticed the change in his attitude only a couple of days ago or even weeks ago, I would assume that there might have been an incident where he was disappointed or upset with something (small) that you did or didn't do.
However, you stated that he has been acting cold for the past several "months". That is quite a long time. Also, it does not seem as if you two see each other very often so there may have been a lack of communication between you two (again, it's hard to tell how often you communicated with him when things were going well).
Even though I agree with what everyone has said above, if you really want to fix this problem with him, I would suggest that you reflect what you may have done wrong first. I am sure that the problems in your relationship arose from his shallow actions, but if you want to confront him in the near future, you want to have a clear picture of how dedictated you have been to this relationship. For instance, did you previously go watch movies with your guy friends when you had thought that things were going well? Has your boyfrined always been the jealous type??
Finally, I would suggest that you trust your instinct in regard to any suspect. My feeling is that he wants to explore more about other women, but at the same time, he does not want to lose you (being greedy).
I am sorry that I rambled too much, but I just wanted to help you find a way where you could be happy at the end of the day.
I am not sure if I can provide you with the most comforting interpretation or advice on your relationship. Although it is hard for me to see the big picture from your brief description, my initial impression on your situation is the following.
If you noticed the change in his attitude only a couple of days ago or even weeks ago, I would assume that there might have been an incident where he was disappointed or upset with something (small) that you did or didn't do.
However, you stated that he has been acting cold for the past several "months". That is quite a long time. Also, it does not seem as if you two see each other very often so there may have been a lack of communication between you two (again, it's hard to tell how often you communicated with him when things were going well).
Even though I agree with what everyone has said above, if you really want to fix this problem with him, I would suggest that you reflect what you may have done wrong first. I am sure that the problems in your relationship arose from his shallow actions, but if you want to confront him in the near future, you want to have a clear picture of how dedictated you have been to this relationship. For instance, did you previously go watch movies with your guy friends when you had thought that things were going well? Has your boyfrined always been the jealous type??
Finally, I would suggest that you trust your instinct in regard to any suspect. My feeling is that he wants to explore more about other women, but at the same time, he does not want to lose you (being greedy).
I am sorry that I rambled too much, but I just wanted to help you find a way where you could be happy at the end of the day.
Sorry to hear about your troubles Redline,
I think I would follow the advice YOU would give to a close friend if he or she was in the exact same situation you are in. (I know, sounds great in THEORY)! I would give it all your best shot in trying to remedy the problem. If you give it all you got, then at least you know you tried and there is not much more you can do. But realize when to call it quits after you've tried everything and nothing works. Dont stay in it HOPING he will change.
Let us know how it goes
I think I would follow the advice YOU would give to a close friend if he or she was in the exact same situation you are in. (I know, sounds great in THEORY)! I would give it all your best shot in trying to remedy the problem. If you give it all you got, then at least you know you tried and there is not much more you can do. But realize when to call it quits after you've tried everything and nothing works. Dont stay in it HOPING he will change.
Let us know how it goes
Redline, I've been going through some similar crap myself lately. While I don't have any answers, you're not alone... as if that's any comfort.
In my mind, the only way to really get to the bottom of stuff like this is to have an open & honest talk... but trying to arrange such a situation is sometimes impossible.
I wish you all the best. You're in my thoughts.
In my mind, the only way to really get to the bottom of stuff like this is to have an open & honest talk... but trying to arrange such a situation is sometimes impossible.
I wish you all the best. You're in my thoughts.
Well, I guess I'll jump in the Dear Abby wagon.
He's exibiting signs of disinterest. He's on his way out. And it seems like the end between you two is close. Sorry.
He's exibiting signs of disinterest. He's on his way out. And it seems like the end between you two is close. Sorry.
RedlineNSX said:
Hey you know what?? Don't sweat it too much, you've got all of us!!
Seriously, life is too short and precious. Not saying you should hold it in or ignore your feelings, but understand, youre young, life goes on, enjoy it!! Damn, I sound like an old 23 year old!!! Regards
- Z
thanks so much all of you. its nice to know that i can come here and that there are people who care. 
Just Kidding.
like everyone else said have a chat, not willing to do so, then im sure there are many other people around who are willing to listen to you. A big world and life is to short Good luck
Good luck
