Like you say, there are two possible spring perch settings: upper and lower, which indicate which groove the perch snap ring is in, upper being the upper groove and lower being the lower groove when looking at the strut in its installed orientation. Using the upper perch setting on all four struts, the car will remain at near OEM height (this is most likely the way your Bilsteins are currently configured), the lower setting lowers the car about 7/8”. You can change from the upper setting to the lower setting by moving (or vice versa) the snap ring that holds the perch into the upper or lower groove on the strut body. Don’t confuse the upper or lower snap ring setting with the perch orientation—always orient the perch in the same way as shown in the instructions and on the dali website. It is difficult to change the snap ring setting once the struts are installed.
Once the strut is installed, only tighten the bolts (all of them) hand tight. Next, take your floor jack and a block of wood carefully jack up the suspension “load the suspension” as much as you can (be careful not to unbalance the car too much if it is on jack stands!!!). Then tighten the bolts to torque spec.
HTH
DanO