And that's when the fight started !!! .... take a break and get a laugh
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Some of them are good for a chuckle
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started....
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _______
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ______
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Oh my goodness!!! That must be my husband!”
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I AM your husband!”
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And that's when the fight started......
__________________________________________________ ____
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of ice cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the ice cream And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ ___
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replied, 'Well, at least your eyesight's near perfect.' And that's when the fight started......
__________________________________________________ ______
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ______
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ____
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...So, I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ___
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale. And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ __
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?
I said, 'Dust.' And that's when the fight started
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some of them are good for a chuckle
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ ______
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _______
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ______
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Oh my goodness!!! That must be my husband!”
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I AM your husband!”
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And that's when the fight started......
__________________________________________________ ____
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of ice cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the ice cream And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ ___
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replied, 'Well, at least your eyesight's near perfect.' And that's when the fight started......
__________________________________________________ ______
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ______
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ____
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...So, I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ___
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale. And that's when the fight started...
__________________________________________________ __
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?
I said, 'Dust.' And that's when the fight started
