Afraid of success?

[lemansnsx]

We've had lots of threads on career changes, what we all do for a living, new business ventures, etc. Something struck me while watching the finale of "The Apprentice" the other night and I wanted to see if anyone here had any experience or advice regarding people who are afraid of succeeding. It was pretty obvious that Bill relished the challenges ahead of him as Trump said those magic words "you're hired" but not everyone has that kind of self-confidence. What do you do when you realize that YOU are the only thing standing between you and success? How do you plan for success when your inclination is to turn away from it when it presents itself?

 

[MF-DIF]

Im kind of feel that way in my current job situation. I know that I could be very successful at it if I put my efforts into it. Management keeps patting me on the back with complements and how they forsee me as being the next "big hitter" around the office. I truthfully only put about 25% of my energy into my work, simply because I don't enjoy it. Im kind of just there until something comes along that makes me happy. I think I maybe happier with the position I have now if I had the energy to perform, but I just cant bring myself to that level. Hell if they threatened my job security it wouldnt even motivate me because I dont enjoy my work. Dont get me wrong though, its not that im not focused. I believe that life is too short to be doing something that you dont love, so this is just a stepping stone for me to get there.

 

[lemansnsx]

Im kind of feel that way in my current job situation. I know that I could be very successful at it if I put my efforts into it.

Yes, it is natural to not put forth one's best efforts when you don't enjoy what you are doing. What I'm wondering about is a bit different - like when you do enjoy something but you don't take chances or pursue opportunities. I'm in a position where I broke out on my own a few years ago and have been making a nice income while not working very hard at it. Now I got a call that could be my first big contract and I almost don't even want to pursue it. In the words of the person offering the deal "this could really put you on the map" and I almost want to say "no thanks". Weird, huh? I think part of the problem is that I prefer to be a behind-the-scenes operator, quite happy letting someone else chair the meetings and do all the sales type stuff while I get the job done. Now the offer of a big contract would have me center stage and handling some things that I have no experience with. BTW, the person offering this contract is a friend of 35 years so I'm not being snowed when it comes to the "on the map" part of it although he tends to think much bigger than I do.

 

[MF-DIF]

You are probably hesitant to pursue this because it is out of your comfort zone. Your earning a satifactory income at a low level of stress. Its natural to not want to come out of that. This new contract you speak of sounds like a large commitment. It seems like you are happy where you are now, so your wondering why work more when you have all you need. Work to live or live to work, which will you choose. If this does put you "on the map" though, it could be good in the long run. After a while you might have to work even less than now, hire more people and make even more money.

 

[lemansnsx]

You are probably hesitant to pursue this because it is out of your comfort zone.

Yes, that is pretty much it in a nutshell. My stress level is quite low, I work mostly when I want and certainly where I want and have never been much motivated by money. I certainly do like the finer things in life but I'm not driven by it the way the Donald is! Having said that I did enjoy my day rate at the height of my consulting career - used to think that it was pretty silly what people were willing to pay me!

 

[NeoNSX]

Yeah, it can be stepping out of your comfort zone that holds you back, but i think an even deeper cause is FEAR. It could be a fear of stepping out, or a fear of failure.

As men (yeah, i know there are some women reading this, but i'm saying this specifically to guys) we don't want to admit we're fearful of stuff coz "guys have no fear". This is especially true about taking risks with our jobs, because work is one way we define ourselves. We can even be fearful of bringing up and talking about stuff like this thread 'afraid of success'. I guess that can be a pride thing, but it also means we're being dishonest with ourselves and other men.

Where am i going with all this? dunno... except that don't let fear keep you from stepping out into opportunities. Fear is an enemy to be crushed!

 

[gheba_nsx]

I try alway sto balance things in order to get maximum "life quality".

Not "maximum income", not "maximum free time" or not "minimum work effort". A balance between many more elements is what I consider a step forward...

Maybe the higher position will only move you in a higher income bracket but not necessarily in a better life quality one.

 

[lemansnsx]

Maybe the higher position will only move you in a higher income bracket but not necessarily in a better life quality one.

Balance or moderation in all things is certainly a good thing!
This contract would entail some travel - something that never appealed to me as far as business goes - but, more importantly, the scope is pretty broad and that puts me off. The first stage is quite easy - stuff that I can do in my sleep so if they do this properly with the scope clearly defined and the milestones stated up front I'm fine with it. If they can't work that way then I'm not their guy 'cause I'll never again get in a situation where the scope of a project is not clearly defined up front. The bottom line is that I'm not yet clear on what they want and I'm not sure that they are either!

Originally posted by Neo
we don't want to admit we're fearful of stuff coz "guys have no fear". This is especially true about taking risks with our jobs, because work is one way we define ourselves. We can even be fearful of bringing up and talking about stuff like this thread 'afraid of success'. I guess that can be a pride thing, but it also means we're being dishonest with ourselves and other men.

This is very true. I've been surprised in the past to find that co-workers suffer from the same fears and dislikes of certain aspects of the work as I do. Surprised because they never mentioned them and only admitted to them after close questioning. I guess I am more open than most about these fears - at least with close associates - I mean, I'm not telling the client I have doubts!